Tootie
My Good Tootie wants to hear your deepest secrets about sex and love, relationships and sex, sex and friendships… and did I mention sex? Anonymously. Get off and get it off your chest. I pinky-promise to be honest and candid and keep it fun, I expect the same from you. Also fun. Listen to my “Campfire Shitshow” podcast interview, where I mention this article. http://bit.ly/2Ybegda. Pass it on.
Hey Tootie. I feel cringy specifying about being a top or a bottom, but I also hate wasting time. Trying to figure out and then disappointing someone when I refuse to be aggressive. I have a feminine side and I live in the closet. Ideally, I could be able to come home and be my true self with someone. I work a physical job 50 hours per week and take home a little more $ than what I need to be comfy. I would like to find a relationship partner that can balance out my feminine side, be the yin to my yang, top to my bottom, masc to my fem, etc. You have some experience with being fem like me.
MGT: This or that, seems like a tough way to find someone for a long-term, getting-home-from-work-being-who-you-are kind of a relationship. Making it clear what you like isn’t cringy but to have the whole scenario laid out and then played out seems like a recipe for disappointment. Your need to come home and be you is completely understandable, take your hair out of that ponytail, shower off the dirt, shave every crack and crevice, dust on some cheeks and eyebrows, add a light lip gloss, put on something soft against your skin. Some people play a part at work and a different part with our family or friends. Finding someone who’s going to be happy with your lovely self shouldn’t be that hard but keeping them for the long term (even with one $ above comfy) with such a stringent set of parameters, will fail. My experience with being fem is that it isn’t something I just paint or put on. Same as me being masculine or “aggressive.” It isn’t tied to my dick and what position I play but that I can call that trait up in an instant, both traits, at a business meeting, in line at a café or between the sheets. I’m not looking for the balance affirmed through a partner, I live that balance. Put your pretty pictures out there, be upfront about what you’re looking for (they love the smooth thing) and let them have it from the bottom. You’re a unique blend and someone is going to appreciate your.. this and that.
Tootie, I saw some pics of you recently that looked like they were done on location. I’m 47 and decided that I’m interested in the possibility of modeling (nude, semi-nude). Call it a midlife crisis. But seriously, I am in good shape and looking younger than my age. Do you think there are any photographers or artists (amateur or pros) out there that might want to give me a shot? I’m not looking to be paid for now. I can be reached by email (omitted). My BF is encouraging but has tried to talk me out of it mildly, which maybe makes me want to do it more. He’s 27, which tells you I look young.
MGT: OMG, this is a thing. I know you can do it. I have a friend who is super successful at having individuals (clients) who fancy being a photographer shoot him in awesome settings and with and without clothes. There are art classes looking for models, and gay publications who are always needing cover and ad models. Another avenue is following photographers who shoot men of your look and age. There is a market for your look. Never mind the looks your younger BF gives you when you go on about this. Set up the acceptable boundaries to protect his sensitivities. Keep your home life happy. He really just doesn’t want you to get hurt, rejection is real. Can you handle someone turning you down based on your physicality or vintage? Limit the scope and first shoot with guys who photograph others like you and listen to their suggestions. I learned so much from every photographer I’ve been fortunate to shoot with. Unbutton your shirt, drop your drawers, right foot slightly forward, left shoulder back, drop your chin. You’ll see the difference in the pics. You’ll see the difference in your partner when he sees how much fun you’re having and how good you look. Keep it light and don’t discuss it with friends except your bestie. At this age, you’re acting atypical to your life. Coworkers won’t understand, your family will chalk it up to your always being a quirky guy, you may be considered delusional, you might be. You won’t know until you get out there and get out there naked.
