Trans Talk with Connor
By Connor Maddocks
As our San Diego Pride season is getting underway, I have been reflecting on how our trans community in San Diego seems to have lost its pride.
It makes me sad to think back on all of the work we did in past years. We, the San Diego trans community, had a vibrant coalition of community members who were proud and excited to show our pride in ourselves and our community by organizing some amazing events.
In the earliest years, starting in 2014, we held our first Trans Pride and March. We met at Balboa Park – where there was food, games, resource tables and more – then we marched like a parade to join in the San Diego Pride Spirit of Stonewall Rally at Normal Street. We had an amazing number of people show up. We wore our trans shirts and hats and flags. People on the street waved and hooted with love for us. Horns honked and shouts of “We love you!” were heard all around through the march. It was exhilarating and made me burst with pride for our community. We held several more Trans Pride events in the following years.
Then the pandemic hit and everything came to a halt. It was difficult to restart our lives after that, as everyone had to readjust to face-to-face contact with people. The San Diego LGBT Community Center didn’t re-open for quite some time and I think we lost many links to each other.
Today, most trans groups at The Center still meet on Zoom rather than in person. I feel we lose a great deal of social interaction and a closeness to others on a Zoom call. But at least the groups go on.
Now that the pandemic is over and life is back to “normal” (whatever that means to you) but the trans community seems to be thrown to the wind. Except for the big events, like Transgender Day of Remembrance and Trans Day of Empowerment, there are no other gatherings.
Those two events are made possible by the leadership of a very few people. We used to invite any community member to join in the planning and really had some great meetings and ideas with so many people. Nowadays, it seems very few answer the call.
Tracie O’Brien always emphasized at Day of Empowerment that it was time to let the young ones lead, that trans elders should step back and allow them to blossom. But in reality, it seems to still be the elders who are leading the way to make community events possible.
Let’s take Trans Pride for example. What happened to it?
Well first there was the pandemic and then it took the next couple of years for many to venture out and feel safe. Now it’s 2024 and I have heard nothing about anyone organizing a Trans Pride event. Our community, now more than ever, needs to come together, to support each other, to lend a hand in the battle for our rights, but no one seems to answer the call.
With over 400 anti-trans pieces of legislation across our country, I know it scares me. I can’t believe others in our community aren’t feeling the same way. But wouldn’t it be nice to have space to get together, talk to each other, support each other. Maybe even do a rally!
Over the years I have and still do organize beach parties and picnics, often with very little help to put these on. My co-facilitator, Shawn Burgh, is always the only one who helps me organize these. He is a great example of a young leader. He can’t be the only one though?
I will tell you this old man is getting tired – it can’t continue to be me anymore. Where are the other young leaders we waited for? Where are the younger people with ideas, creativity and ambition to create community?
Anyone can create an event, anyone can conceive an idea and anyone can be a leader. You just have to step up and do it.
I have noticed among folks I interact with, that when I mention that San Diego Pride needs volunteers, the room falls silent. When other events come up and I say that this event could use some volunteers, again, silence. I am trying to understand why the generations of 20 on up to 40, react this way.
Has our world changed so much that no one feels like they should help create a strong vibrant community as we had in the past? Do folks nowadays feel no need for community? Do people today have no sense of giving back?
It seems that very few have the sense anymore that it’s all of our responsibility to lend a hand and be part of things greater than ourselves. Is leadership a dead fish in our world? It’s as if no one wants to actually do any work to make these things happen.
Why don’t I see any leadership within our trans community? I’m sure I am missing something because we are a community of such talent, such passion, such creativity. It would be nice to see some leaders come of age and try and get things together, like let’s do Trans Pride again!
Now here are some great opportunities to give back to our community. Yes, San Diego Pride does need more volunteers this year, with lots of different jobs and shifts to choose from. Just go to sdpride.org/volunteer.
Also on Saturday, July 13, SheFest will be held again on Normal Street, where the Hillcrest Farmers Market takes place each Sunday. This event is put on by women for women and everyone is welcome.
I have heard people say in recent years that they heard “trans men and cis men were not allowed in” to SheFest. That is absolutely not true. All welcome means everybody. Respect for the women and their efforts is of course implied. There will be music and vendors, workshops and more. Come out and support this great event!
Finally, don’t forget to visit the Trans Area at San Diego Pride. Relax and chat with friends, visit all the great resource tables, hang with your homies. Should be a great area this year.
Happy Pride, everyone! Be safe and have a wonderful Pride and a safe summer.
–Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at [email protected].
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