By Connor Maddocks
Young and old
It’s that time of year again, Spring, the time of renewal, revitalization, and time to get out of the house and enjoy the fresh air. It’s also the time of year that I start to think of ways I would like to help invigorate the Trans community. More and more I believe that now is so important for us to come together as one community. We are so fragmented, so many small groups who engage with each other, but no one else.
I especially want to connect the younger Trans folks and the elder Trans folks. We can teach each other so many things, but how to make this happen is still a mystery to me. But wouldn’t it be great if we could find ways to interact, to teach our youth about our past and what it was like to be Trans back in the day? Wouldn’t it be great if our youth could interact with our elders and show them what great things are happening now?
Our Trans youth who are in their teens have so many resources nowadays. There is the Hillcrest Youth Center, where teens can meet each other and make new friends, have important discussions, as well as get support. There is the Chula Vista Youth Center, where our South Bay youth can engage with each other as their San Diego counterparts do. In North County, they have the North County Resource Center, where groups are held, and engaging with youth is an important part of their mission. San Diego Pride also has a youth program to engage youth in the same wonderful adventures.
Many of the youth that attend the offerings available throughout the county are Trans youth. Due to the political climate in our country, I would think that many Trans youth would avail themselves of these services. The kids engage in so many different activities, celebrate each other and find joy in their lives.
Our LGBTQ youth are very lucky, they have a place to go, a physical building just for them. It’s safe and private, where they can talk about pretty much anything that is on their minds. What an amazing gift to give our youth. Support, engagement, fun, and meeting new friends who are like themselves. As I have learned over the years working with youth and their families, being with people who are like us can make a huge difference in the quality of life for our kids.
I also run a chapter of an organization known as Transforming Family (part of the Los Angeles-based nonprofit, Community Partners). We meet once a month to support parents of Transgender youth. While the parents meet, we also offer a youth meeting for teens. Hopefully our Tween group will be back up and running soon and we have a wonderful play area for our littles. All the kids who attend are Trans youth and many have never met another Trans youth before they came to us.
The parents are given peer-to-peer support from other parents. We have even had grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings attend. For more information on my group please email me at [email protected]. There is a similar group for the North County parents, but any family member is welcome to mine. So many opportunities for our Trans youth to engage and thrive.
But there is another group, who could really use a place to thrive, to get together with peers and enjoy each other’s company – our LGBTQ Seniors.
So many folks disappear into the greater community and are never heard from again, to which I say, good for them! Seniors, however, are a population who also begin to need resources, peer support, and social time. Especially Trans seniors who are around my age, 71 and older. So many of my senior peers were never able to avail themselves of medical transition surgeries, or procedures like electrolysis and others that help Trans folks blend into society better.
One of the big issues I see is when folks need some kind of medical intervention. Which, if you know me, you know I can certainly vouch for my own interaction with the medical community. As we get older, our bodies start to break down, problems arise and we often have to go to our local emergency rooms. Since many Trans elders are alone with no family, they have to endure these visits and procedures alone. It’s hard enough for younger Trans people to go see a doctor or go to the ER, and have to explain about their bodies. Believe it or not, most medical professionals have no knowledge about Trans people, nevermind our bodies. Having to deal with explanations, outright discrimination, and even bullying by the medical community is heartbreaking, and for our Trans elders it can be so devastating.
What if there was a place where our Trans elders could go? A place just for them, or maybe we could even share it with our LGB siblings. This is a dream of mine, but unless I win the lottery, I don’t see it coming true. There must be a way where we can find spaces for our Trans elders to meet, just to socialize, hangout and talk about our specific needs. Also a place with resources specific to Trans elders, well at least resources that tell us where safe resources might be.
It’s also hard now to find our Trans elders. Although I interact with some, I know there are more out there. There has to be a way. Once we do connect though, I would love to keep it going, I would love to find other Trans folks who are willing to be a buddy to a struggling elder. I would love to have an event where the Trans elders could meet and interact with our Trans youth. I think most Trans youth don’t even know we exist. We owe it to all our elders actually, to reach across this wide river and connect with each other.
Most youth I interact with have no idea how our lives were back in the 1950s and ’60s and on. I swear some of these kids think they invented trans, lol.
If anyone out there is interested in pursuing this with me, please contact me! SOS – Save Our Seniors. There is a national LGBTQ senior organization (and website) that has been around for decades – SAGE – that published “Gaining Visibility: The ChallengesFacing Transgender Elders,” By Sean Kennedy. You can read it here bit.ly/4c6plBR.
Also, don’t forget Trangender Day of Empowerment, coming up on April 5. See you there.
–Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at [email protected].
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