The Shoulders I Stand Upon
By: Big Mike Phillips
When I decided to make the food and beverage industry my career back in 1974 (right after I graduated from high school), I never imagined how this work force would change my life in so many fascinating ways.
I fell into this business when I was a junior in high school. I wanted to go to the Junior/Senior Prom that year and realized the only way I would ever get to go was by getting a weekend job. I had a good friend, Dawn, whose father owned one of the most successful restaurants in Texas, called “Country Corner.” It always had a line outside the door because the food was so delicious. They were known for having one of the best chicken fried steaks in the state. Dawn asked her Dad if they needed any extra help and it just so happened he needed a dishwasher in the kitchen. I went to meet him and filled out an application and was hired immediately, starting that same weekend. It did not hurt that Dawn and I had the same birthday, January 18.
I was so happy to have this opportunity to work. I started at the beginning of the school year so I could make enough money to go to the Prom. Now you must realize, it was 1974 and the minimum wage was $1.10 an hour.
I never realized what hard work it was to wash dishes and scrub those pots and pans. OMG.
After about a month of working there, the owner came into the kitchen one Saturday morning and said to me, “You need to get on the floor and start taking food orders.” Only two of his waitresses had shown up to work that day.
I was scared to death and said, “I’ve never done anything like this before.” He replied, “Just go out there and write down what they would like to eat and bring the order back to the kitchen.”
The first few orders I took were disasters, the kitchen helped me out a lot. But as the day went on and the fact that it was so busy, I was forced to get the hang of it very fast. I could not believe how much fun I was having and especially seeing and picking up the tips.
By the end of my shift, I counted my money and could not believe I had made $150 that day. I’d never made that kind of money before. God knows I wanted to wait tables again on a regular basis. There were only two things that stood in my way: about 75% of his waitresses were the most popular and beautiful girls from all the surrounding high schools; and he only had female waitresses. I certainly was not in either classification.
The owner did in fact put me on the floor as a waiter later on because several customers were requesting “the tall young man who waited on us Saturday.” This was when I learned the meaning of regular and loyal customers. It made me feel so special and I went out of my way to make them feel that I truly appreciated their loyalty.
Fast forward to my last 36 years bartending in the gay bars here in San Diego. Getting my very first bartending job as the day bartender at the Brass Rail, I had to find ways to attract day drinkers to come see me during my shifts. I did and I was fortunate enough to build that day shift with very kind and loyal customers, a lot of them are still my customers to this very day.
In fact, my dear friend Robert, who I met over 40 years ago in San Antonio, Texas, was a customer of mine there; then when I moved to San Diego, he happened to move here around that same time, and when he learned I was bartending in the gay bars, he has been my loyal customer ever since. Forty years of friendship and as Robert’s bartender.
I moved on from the Brass Rail to Rich’s for 12 years, and then Bourbon Street for nine and a half years, and I was blown away with the loyalty of my regular customers who would graciously wait in my line to receive one of my drinks.
I always spoke to and acknowledged every single person who approached my bar with a hello, and never without saying thank you. So many of them have become great friends over these years and are still supporting me.
I Googled the definition of the words “loyal customer” … Customer Loyalty describes an ongoing emotional relationship between you and your customer, manifesting itself by how willing a customer is to engage with and repeatedly purchase from you versus your competitors. Loyalty is the byproduct of a customer’s positive experience with you and works to create trust.
After 50 years in the food and beverage industry, especially in San Diego, I have been honored to have so many of you as loyal customers, and because of your dedicated support, you have helped me pay my bills, and given me a lifestyle of comfort that I will always be grateful for. Because of all of you who have given me your loyalty, I have a beautiful home, have been able to travel, and the best part is that we have become friends, even if it was only at the bar, but many of you have become very good friends outside of the bar.
My customers were also there for me during those early days of Ordinary Miracles, when bartenders gave half or more of their tips back to the cause; it was our loyal customers who came out in force to tip us bartenders and waiters even more than normal. For that, I will always be grateful knowing we live in such a kind and generous community. I know how fortunate I am to be blessed by so many of you who show your loyal support towards me and to so many other wonderful bartenders and waiters in this town, who make you feel special as you deserve to be treated.
This has been my standard as a person in the service industry these last 50 years: “I will always do my best to recognize your presence with a hello, be kind, and attentive to your needs, and give you the best product you are asking for. To always show you my appreciation for choosing me as your bartender, and standing in my line. I am so grateful to you. Thank you.”
So many of you have also opened doors for me in many ways, by getting me extra work on the side with bartending and photography gigs. We are all customers at some point, we go out to have fun, go to a store or restaurants and bars. We depend upon the help of the individuals who work at these businesses we support for service.
I have learned as a customer myself, kindness and patience are key to getting better service. If you are going out and the place you choose to be at is very busy, please do not blame the person who is working hard by taking your frustration out on them.
Overall, I would say 95 percent of our guests are amazing and I personally have always appreciated every one of you who has ever ordered a drink or food from me. I realized years ago how much I love what I do, and the main reason for that has always been that I enjoy all of you and I am and always will be grateful for your loyalty, support, friendship, and your love. And in return I love all of you. Thank you.
I have met so many amazing, kind, and generous people. I have always said, “I live in the best city in the world, because it has the best people in the world.” Lucky me.
As we celebrate LGBTQ Pride this month here in San Diego, I would like to say how much I appreciate these last 35 years of Pride and all those we honor for those shoulders we stand upon in our community. I have bartended all those years during Pride and once again it is our customers and welcomed guests who come from all over the country to celebrate with us. San Diego LGBTQ Pride turns 50 years old this year and witnessing these last 35 years has educated me of our LGBTQ+ sheroes and heroes. In 1969 the Stonewall riots gave birth to the first Pride marches held in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago, one year later, June 28, 1970.
So, on our Golden Anniversary here in San Diego, as we honor the new LGBTQ honorees, let us never forget our past and make sure we tell these stories correctly and never allow anyone past or present to ever not be included. Our history is the foundation to our success.
I want to congratulate all who have been chosen to be recognized this year, a huge congratulations on your honor. I pray we have a safe, kind, and loving LGBTQ Pride this year. We are all deserving of our freedoms, Equality and Unity as Americans, God’s children, and human Beings. These are the shoulders we stand upon. –Big Mike Phillips is a local photographer, bartender, and longtime LGBT activist and fundraiser. You can reach him at [email protected].
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We have a lot great bartenders in town but you, Big Mike, stand out above them because of your commitment to your customers – which in turn, has made so many of them loyal to you. It’s always a treat to sit at your bar and chat and hang out and hear stories and make connections (although you’re getting so busy at The Rail these days – which is a good thing – we have less and less chat time!). Happy Pride, Big Mike!