Big Mike Phillips | The Shoulders I Stand Upon
It is now that time of year when we celebrate the holidays and show gratitude by sharing with those who are not as fortunate as many of us are.
San Diego’s LGBTQ community has proven that we are a very giving, loving, and generous group of caring individuals. Working in the bars, especially The Brass Rail in the very early 1990s, opened doors for me in this area personally, by watching the Imperial Court de San Diego and all the amazing events/fundraisers they did all year round to help those in need.
I learned in those early days that the Imperial Court did not just help our own community, but any human being that needed food, medicine, financial assistance, blankets, Thanksgiving meals, Christmas meals, toys, Easter baskets for the kids, and so on. The Imperial Court has always been a huge example of what charity really means and they truly walk the talk and lead by example.
Working in this environment and witnessing these acts of kindness every single Wednesday and Sunday evening really touched my heart, as people gladly donated money for these causes to help others in our community. I would even donate part of my tips during my shifts in those days, just so I could help make a difference.
It was at this time in 1990 that I met Empress Nicole the Great (Nicole Murray Ramirez), who in 2007 would become Queen Mother of the Americas and head of the International Court Council, the oldest and one of the largest LGBTQ organizations in the world.
Nicole invited me to join the organization, because as he said, “I see a lot of potential in you and I see you have a big heart, you would be a perfect fit for this organization.” I did agree to join, but at the same time, I felt that I would be better behind the scenes. You see, I never felt comfortable wearing those beautiful uniforms that so many would and still wear. I love to see everyone else in them, though.
Giving back has changed my life forever; knowing that I, along with so many others, can join together to help provide love and support and bring people together, has been a true gift in return for me in life, as well as helping me become a worthy human being.
The Imperial Court gave me that opportunity, the Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Dinner (later renamed the Scott Carlson/Dan Ferbal Thanksgiving Dinner), held yearly at the San Diego LGBT Community Center auditorium, was one of the first fundraisers I ever did with the Court. It was mind blowing, and still is to this day, to see the generosity of our community; not only those who donate, cook, and serve, but someone has to store and refrigerate all those turkeys until the big day every year, and that happens to be Hillcrest Brewing Company (thank you Joey Arruda).
It takes a lot of planning to make all this happen. For the most part, my dear friend, former emperor, and past Imperial Court board president Mikie Lochner, has taken on the responsibility of leadership for so many years. It is a lot of hard work, thanks to all the volunteers who are members of the Court and many others in our community, as well. It is always so wonderful every year to see our elected officials and community leaders come and volunteer their time serving and helping in every way. Mayor Todd Gloria, former mayor Faulconer and his wife were in attendance this year, and many others, including Assembly Pro Tem Atkins and many others in the past.
Also, for the past 15 years, Nicole Murray Ramirez, Mikie Lochner, and myself, have made it our mission to collect turkeys and gift cards, not only for the above mentioned Thanksgiving dinner, but also for individual families, senior homes, the Barrio, abused women’s housing, people living with HIV and cancer, and so on. The Court has literally helped hundreds of people every year to give them the same Thanksgiving as others have, with a hot meal, love, and compassion, because of the generosity of our amazing community. The Imperial Court even served “to go” boxes of food during the COVID-19 epidemic.
This holiday event has been part of my life for over 25 years, I don’t think I have ever missed helping to gather food and money for the Thanksgiving Dinner.
It has always been a day of love, sharing, inclusion and appreciation for everyone; watching all those smiles, knowing that there were people in the community who care for them and did not leave them behind on this day, we give thanks.
I will tell you it is so heartwarming to hear the thank yous and the stories of what others must do just to survive alone. The feeling of gratitude from so many of these people that attend really touches the heart and soul, just because we are there to make them feel included as human beings with a hot meal and a room filled with so much love.
We have people from all walks of life that join us at The Center, who sit together in fellowship of care and gratitude, and many are our own LGBTQ brothers and sisters, who are not welcomed by their own families. We feed the sick, those living with HIV, cancer, the homeless, and just anyone who may be alone and hungry. WOW, it still gives me goose bumps to this day.
More giving still to come
After Thanksgiving comes the blanket drive. Every year, we collect money, blankets, jackets, and even socks from our community, to help keep those on the streets warm, especially veterans, families with children, and the elderly. Together with Nicole and Mikie, as well as many Court members, we do our best to collect as much warmth as possible.
And as soon as the blanket drive is over, the Court starts the Toy Drive. In 1975, Emperor Craig Morgan and Empress Nicole the Great held a toy drive for the Marine Corps’ “Toys for Tots.” However, when it became known the toys were being donated by gays, the Marines refused to pick them up. As a result, the Imperial Court has been doing their own toy drive ever since.
About a decade ago, I approached my dear friend, Fernando Buendia (aka “Junior”), who was heavily involved with many of the local LGBTQ sports leagues, and asked him if he could send out an email asking our sports teams to donate a toy. Well, Junior went one step further; he created his own event called “WE CARE,” which encouraged our LGBTQ sports team members to donate toys each year. In the 10 years since, Junior has collected more than 80,000 toys, allowing the Imperial Court to make so many children happy. On top of that, so many of our generous community members and business have always stepped up by donating toys as well.
Yes, the Imperial Court does a handful of back-to-back events during the holidays, but they are raising much needed funds all year long. So many amazing, caring, and loving people have been and still are a part of the San Diego Imperial Court.
Life in San Diego for me has always been a treat and that’s why I call it home, to have such loving and caring friends who include me to help with such great causes. The Court has and always will be a beacon of light, hope, and love to the people of San Diego; no matter who you are, they have your back. Thank you to our LGBTQ community, I am so proud to be a part of this love, compassion, generosity, and inclusion.
One last comment, if I may. I would like to express my gratitude to our Publisher Eddie Reynoso and our Editor Morgan Hurley for this opportunity to share and write my stories from my life, as I have experienced them here in San Diego.
It has been a true honor to be a part of living, working, sharing, and giving back these last 34 years here in San Diego. I know how blessed I am and that is because of so many of you who have stood by my side and supported me, my ideas, my challenges, and my charities, you are always here to support me.
And a huge thank you to you for reading our news outlet the LGBTQ San Diego County News and thank you for taking the time to read my column. I am truly humbled. With all the challenges in the world we are facing, I believe in my heart that good will always be around, especially in the incredible community I live in. It is easy to get involved, all you need to do is show up, whether that be to volunteer, donate your time, resources, money or just show up at an event that is raising money. I look forward to seeing many of you in 2024 as we continue to help make the world a better place for us all.
These are the shoulders I stand upon.
–Big Mike Phillips is a local photographer, bartender, and longtime LGBT activist and fundraiser. You can reach him at [email protected].
