Jeri Dilno’s astounding legacy will live on
By Morgan M. Hurley and the San Diego LGBT Community
Local LGBTQ community icon, Jerelyn “Jeri” Dilno, passed away peacefully on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, 2024, surrounded by many of her chosen family. Following news of her passing, social media was ablaze with memories, historical and more recent photos, and loving, cherished attributes and stories of her decades of connections to so many.
Jeri was a true San Diegan, graduating from both Point Loma High School and San Diego State and after a short stint in the military – and then starting her activism in Pennsylvania – she returned to live out her life here in the city and LGBT community she loved. She was even one of the very first residents of the North Park Seniors Apartments, the first known LGBTQ affirming housing complex in the nation, which is where lived until Feb. 14.
A humble but fierce activist, for decades she has had her hands in every aspect of our LGBT community here in San Diego, with impacts well beyond it. Her devotion to LGBT equality was only equaled by her passion for women’s rights.
The following biography of Jeri was shared by Nicole Verdes (she/they), Lambda Archives’ managing director. It says things way better than we ever could have, so we sought permission to share it. Nicole’s historical sentiments will be followed by comments and memories from various other members of our community who knew Jeri well and loved her dearly.
When it comes to trailblazers and historymakers in our local LGBTQ+ community, there are, as to be expected, always a handful of standouts. One individual whose legacy and impact exceeds more than what most of us can expect to contribute to the world and to our movement in one lifetime is Jeri Dilno.
Lambda Archives is saddened to learn that Jeri passed away yesterday at the age of 87 after an incredible life lived in service of her community. She often volunteered at Lambda Archives identifying details in photographs and, of course, sharing countless stories from her life that were both entertaining and insightful.
Born and raised in San Diego, Jeri joined the Airforce after attending San Diego State University in 1958, however she received a dishonorable discharge in 1961 after being investigated, along with eight others, for being gay. Jeri fought the charges and later had her dishonorable discharge changed to honorable, establishing her commitment to pursuing LGBTQ+ rights. After living in Philadelphia for a brief time, Jeri returned to San Diego and helped found the first permitted San Diego Pride march in 1975. She served as the first female executive director of the San Diego LGBT Community Center (then The Gay & Lesbian Center) from 1975 to 1977 and chaired the board of The Center from 1978 to 1980.
She also served as president of the San Diego Democratic Club from 1987 to 1991; was co-chair of the LGBT Democratic Caucus from 1989 to 1991; and a delegate at the National Democratic Convention in 1988, 1992, and 2000. From 1993 to 1995, Jeri held the position of editor at the Gay & Lesbian Times (GLT) at a time during the AIDS crisis when organizations such as ACT UP and Queer Nation held large protests. A dedicated journalist, she once posed as a straight couple alongside Mel Merrill to attend a conservative church meeting that was held to discuss the overturning of the Human Dignity Ordinance.
Along with many other activists, she campaigned against the Briggs Initiative, which would have allowed LGBTQ+ teachers and allies to be fired. Jeri has received a great deal of recognition for her political involvement and activism, including being one of the Grand Marshalls — alongside Jess Jessop — in the 1989 San Diego Pride parade; having March 25, 2006, declared “Jeri Dilno Day” by Mayor Maureen O’Connor; and receiving many awards such as the Harvey Milk Award at the 1988 Nickys; the 1990 Jess Jessop memorial Founders Award from The Center; and the Susan B. Anthony Achievement Award from the San Diego chapter of NOW.
On Sept. 21, 2019, on her 83rd birthday, Assemblymember Chris Ward presented Dilno with an honorary street, titled Jeri Dilno Way on the corner of Park Boulevard and Howard Avenue in North Park.
Aside from her accomplishments in service of the LGBTQ+ community and her passionate involvement in local political activism, Jeri was known and loved for her sense of humor, her ability to enthrall people with storytelling, and for enjoying the occasional vodka gimlet.
Not one to shy away from showing her full humanity while telling stories, she had this to say about her first “lesbian encounter” in an oral history recording preserved by Lambda Archives:
“I met a woman when I was 18, going on 19 and she was 25 and so she introduced me to lesbianism – let’s put it that way [laughs]. And I was very “Oh yeah, this works. This is what I’ve been missing all this time.”
In a Facebook exchange that took place in 2021, focusing on the use of the word “dyke,” Jeri offered the following:
“I have been called a dyke, a lesbian, a queer, a feminist among other names. I found that the label was someone else’s label for me. I am all these and more and am comfortable with all of them. I do not accept the power the speaker thinks their comments have over me. I respond with: “Thank you for noticing – and my name is Jeri.”
Thank you, Jeri. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Nicole Verdes
Jeri once said, “Knowing our history is important to our future,” which is very true. Following are some memories of that history she spoke of.
Community Reactions
Toni Atkins (Senate President pro Tempore Emeritus)
Jeri Dilno was an absolute trailblazer and a mentor to many in the LGBTQ+ community for decades! She was a civic leader and a community treasure. More than that, I was fortunate to call her my friend.
She was a diehard feminist and supported women’s reproductive rights. She also was a proud veteran and military service member.
Jeri loved to dance and enjoy meals and good conversation with friends. I loved her optimism and her ‘never give up’ attitude! She had a hearty laugh, a quick wit, and twinkling eyes to accompany the laugh.
She was wicked smart. She knew her political history. We had some good times, and I have so many great stories and memories! I will miss my dear friend who was always there for me.
Doug Case (political director for Senate President pro Tempore Emeritus Toni Atkins; former president of the San Diego Democratic Club, 1991-92; former president of San Diego Democrats for Equality, 2011-14)
I first got to know Jeri when I joined the board of the San Diego Democratic Club (now San Diego Democrats for Equality) in 1988 when she was president. Over the years she was a source of political wisdom, perspective and wit for me and many others. She understood the importance of sharing our community’s history with younger generations.
She remained active until the end. She was one of Senator Atkins’ appointments to the California Democratic Party State Central Committee. Knowing that she was a little frail, I checked with her to see if she still wanted to attend the convention in Sacramento last November (2023). Her response was ‘absolutely!’ She not only attended every session but was thrilled to be a part of the process. Her energy and enthusiasm will be missed.
Sharon K. Parker (former volunteer, secretary and board president of Lambda Archives, 1991-2010, now retired and a resident of Pennsylvania)
Jeri Dilno was someone with whom I had the privilege of both volunteering and working. Our paths initially crossed at The Center and also when I volunteered during Pride. I had the opportunity to sit and interview her for an Archives project in the early 2000s. Later, she joined us for a period of volunteering at the Archives and made San Diego history come alive while chatting as we did tasks.
I also worked with Jeri at AIDS Foundation San Diego for a while. Her work ethic and writing integrity and savvy were refreshing to one who shared the same. When we could grab a few minutes for quick chatting, it definitely created a welcome diversion from the usual workday activities.
One of my fond memories of one-on-one time with Jeri was attending a SDSU women’s basketball game together in the late 1990s. Watching my favorite sport with someone who shared my love of the game was such a treat! Jeri had the VIP status, so we sat courtside – practically under the basket! I also got to mingle with local celebrities in the VIP room a little before the game and at halftime. It is such a fond memory, together with the time chatting in the car as I drove her home.
Along with others in the community, my life was touched by Jeri and San Diego was made richer by her presence.
George Biagi (former editor of the Gay & Lesbian Times, and communications director for former Third District City Councilmembers Christine Kehoe and Toni Atkins)
I met Jeri in the early 1990s when I was the editor of the Gay & Lesbian Times and publisher Michael Portantino and I hired Jeri as our assistant editor — by far the best hire we ever made at the paper.
Jeri was a fierce advocate for the women’s community and for underserved and underrepresented people across our community. Looking back, those were some of the best, most productive years of my life getting to spend 60-hour weeks side-by-side with Jeri in our cramped editorial office. It was akin to getting a one-on-one master class on LGBT and feminist history and politics.
We were so proud of what we were able to accomplish with the newspaper and were so pleased to be able to use the paper’s editorial content to do whatever we could to help elect Christine Kehoe as San Diego’s first openly LGBT elected official. That time together formed the basis of our friendship, which spanned the next 30 years. How fortunate was I to share the same space and time with this amazing human being. Jeri’s passing is a monumental loss for our community.
Nenette Agulto (former board member, San Diego Pride, 2013-19)
Jeri was a pillar of our community, and her presence and light will greatly be missed. Her guidance as a mentor and board emeritus, while I was serving my six years on San Diego Pride board, was invaluable.
As with any board tenure, a lot of tough decisions had to be made. The fact we were able to seek guidance from Jeri, who had literally been there since “day one” of San Diego Pride, is something boards around the world aren’t privy to. She can never be replaced. RIP Jeri, hopefully you’re dribbling the basketball again in heaven.
William Rodriguez Kennedy (former co-chair of San Diego Pride, 2010-13, former president of San Diego Democrats for Equality, 2016-19)
Jeri Dilno was not only a trailblazer, she was a torchbearer who cleared the path and lit the way for generations who still follow in her footsteps in the struggle for justice and equality.
And yet, in addition to her heroic qualities and achievements, I remember a woman who was both strong and kind. Who faced-off against bigotry and injustice while finding time to laugh and dance. She stood against the darkness, but she found the light and she shared it with the world around her. We are all better for it.
There will be a Celebration of Life for Jeri Dilno at the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s auditorium on Sunday, March 17, at 3 pm. The Center is located at 3909 Centre St., in Hillcrest.
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