The struggle for equality: A first-hand account in La Mesa
by Jen Lothspeich
As many La Mesans can attest to, realtor-turned-city councilmember Laura Lothian likes to cause drama. I’m not sure if it’s to distract from all the real issues at hand, or if she’s just one of those people without any real problems, so she has to create them.
I have plenty of real problems – among them: being a newly-widowed, single mom to a toddler; recently losing a good friend and seeing her family suffer in the way I am; and watching politicians who actively try to take our small joys away.
Whatever noble reason she had in mind, Lothian’s ill-conceived proposal to not fly a Pride flag at town hall in La Mesa during Pride month blew up in her face, leaving a trail of rainbow glitter in its wake.
I could not be more proud of the place I was born and raised.
Myself, my niece, and a few dozen other allies and queers crowded into the La Mesa Town Hall chamber on Tuesday, March 23, to offer fiery public comments opposing Lothian’s amendment during the La Mesa City Council’s twice-monthly meeting.
At issue was Lothian’s proposal, “Consideration of Directing Staff to Amend the Policy for the Display of Flags at City Facilities to Only Allow the Display of Government Flags at City Hall,” which in layman’s terms meant putting a stop to La Mesa’s annual raising of the LGBTQ Pride flag.
I said it that night (yes, in a rainbow halter top) and I’ll say it again — what a waste of time.
There was at least one older woman — who actually resides in Alpine — who showed up in loose support of Lothian, saying she’d prefer to see a “sanctity of life” flag (i.e., an anti-choice flag) raised. I would like to counter that ours is a sanctity of love flag, which is the essence of life; plus it’s cuter. The Alpine resident, Mary Davis, later spoke with News 8 reporter Richard Allyn (visit bit.ly/3oEwJ3m to watch full interview) about her critiques.
“I’m really looking for the city to be neutral,” Davis told News 8. “Because if we go down the identity politics rabbit hole, where does it end?”
And here, dear reader is the dog whistle.
“Identity politics” is a way to label something as “other.” Lothian even recently posted a shameful video on Instagram mocking the words “equity,” “inclusivity,” and “diversity” by suggesting making them into a game (to watch her video, visit bit.ly/3C2dRyg). Making these important concepts simple fodder for a drinking game highlights the mockery Lothian also makes of public office. Because somehow wanting fairness and a beautiful, varied representation offends her and her ilk.
And a flag of vibrant (God-made?) colors to make myself and my niece and my other queer friends and family feel safe and worthy is a threat to someone? Like I say about anything in this world, if you don’t like it — look away.
Of course, Lothian made sure to paint herself as the victim in all this — noting that she’s half Guatemalan and her “best friends are lesbians.” You can imagine the collective sighs and rolled eyes in the room for pulling the race and friendship cards. Those things don’t absolve you from bigotry. In fact, I think Laura being a woman of color and having queer friends makes her behavior on the council that much more disturbing.
As the night wore on, several media outlets also covered Carlsbad Unified School District’s decision to not raise a Pride flag for June (to learn more, visit bit.ly/45FZKfO), reaffirming why we make signs and chants to try to remind the bigots that we’re constituents, too.
Back in La Mesa, Lothian’s arguments for even bringing this “matter” to the council rang hollow. It wasn’t even brought to a vote. She said herself she knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, but asserted that a rainbow flag is a gateway for other groups with a multitude of “causes” asking for flags.
Well, Laura, this isn’t a cause. This is life or death; especially for our kids.
Representation matters, and if that makes me woke, I’ll wear that title like a crown.
I, for one, am calling on Lothian to resign.
–Jen Lothspeich is a local digital content specialist, a passionate freelance writer, and a mom.
Editor’s Note: The Gilbert Baker website, which honors his life and work (Gilbert was the creator of the original rainbow Pride flag), has launched a “Save the Rainbow” campaign. You can see (on a map) all the locations across the nation that have passed laws banning the Pride flag or making sure it does not get raised for Pride month. The website asks for the public’s support in sharing when other state, city, or local school district rules or laws occur that are not already identified on the map, to keep it current. To learn more, visit gilbertbaker.com/save-the-rainbow.
Dear Ms. Lothspeich:
Struggle for Equality? Drama? Distraction from all the real issues at hand? Look in the mirror, lady, if I am allowed to say that word.
Equality is not having an entire month devoted to your cause. Equality is not a Ford rainbow truck beating a “straight” truck in a dirt road race commercial. Equality is not one of the world’s largest burger chains making “Pride Whoppers.” Equality is not parades all over the world in your honor. Equality is not your flags flying shoulder-to-shoulder and sometimes higher than national flags.
That’s exaltation. Equality would be a step backward.
As for drama, I wasn’t the one saying I would commit suicide if City Hall didn’t fly an LGBTQ flag. That’s not only dramatic; that’s emotional blackmail. Not one disrespectful word was uttered by me during the La Mesa council meeting, but I did experience for the first time in my life being called a “Cisgender, white supremacist, Nazi bigot.”
And what villainy prompted such dramatic slurs, one might ask? My daring to suggest only official flags fly on official flagpoles. No wonder you’re calling for me to resign. The impertinence! The insolence! Cancel! Cancel! Cancel!
The original vote to hoist the LGBTQ Flag on La Mesa’s flagpole in 2020 (when City Hall was closed and no one was paying attention) was the distraction from real issues: unlawful COVID lockdowns, businesses going under, rising homelessness, demoralized police, the May riots that left our beloved city in burning ashes.
My entire reason for being on the La Mesa City Council is real issues: Police, permits, potholes, litter, stopping ugly apartment buildings from destroying the charm of La Mesa, and implementing real solutions to the growing homeless problem.
Half the time I show up for city council meetings, I ask myself, “Am I at a United Nations or World Economic Forum meeting?” The agendas are that global and not applicable to La Mesa.
Lastly, I don’t do “dog whistles.” No one has ever accused me of being nuanced. I bluntly condemn Identity Politics. A society built on Identity Politics and not merit will fail.
Current San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria just announced his reelection campaign. His sales pitch:
When you elected me as mayor of San Diego, you made history by electing the first person of color and LGBTQ+ person to be elected San Diego mayor. I am grateful every day for that honor.
Winning re-election is an opportunity to confirm that San Diego will not turn back on the progress we have made together. That building a city that works for all of us will continue.
Progress? A city that works for all of us?
San Diego is filthy. The homeless population has more than tripled under Gloria. The squalor and misery shock the senses; repel residents, businesses, and tourism; and depress the soul. But, hey! He’s the first person of color and LGBTQ+ mayor. Really? Is that what matters?
I knew my amendment was going to cause a stir and not garner support from my colleagues on the dais, but I had to do it. Flying any flag on tax-funded public property that is not 100% representative of all La Mesa citizens is wrong. So is staying silent.
Laura Lothian
La Mesa City Council
My response to Ms. Lothspeich’s op-ed was emailed to the editors and publishers. Hopefully, they publish it. Laura Lothian La Mesa City Council