Albert H. FulcherLambda Archives of San Diego
Lambda Archives of San Diego is the local LGBTQ+ community archives whose mission is to collect, preserve and teach the local queer history here in San Diego County, Northern Baja California and Imperial County. It was established in 1987, now in its 32nd year.
On Oct. 5, Lambda Archives held its annual fundraiser at the San Diego History Center, surrounded by the current “LGBTQ+ San Diego: Stories of Struggles and Triumphs” exhibit, open through January 2020. Dinner, silent auctions and a beautiful rendition of “You Don’t Own Me” by the San Diego Women’s Chorus began the evening. San Diego Mx. Gay Pride 2019 Amber St James emceed the event with their colorful flair. Councilmember Chris Ward presented Lambda Archives with a proclamation from the city, and keynote speaker Ashlee Marie Preston addressed the crowd with some brutal, but enlightening facts that people of color and transgender people of color still face today.
Nicole Verdes, Lambda Archives board president said that the evening was Lambda’s signature annual fundraiser event.
“We are going to have fun,” Verdes said. “It is a fundraiser, but we are also give attention into the recent violence against transgender women of color. We invited all community members, local queer organizations to be with us here tonight.”
Verdes said that The Stoned Soul Soirée is a 60’s theme and in the spirit of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. She said she was thrilled with the evening’s keynote speaker, award-winning media personality, transgender activist and civil rights activist Ashlee Marie Preston.
Preston made history as the first transgender editor-in-chief of a national publication and also the first openly transgender to run for state office in California.
Preston said that with all the work that we continue to do and the ways we contribute to our movement, one of the biggest challenges for her is allowing people to celebrate.
“That is why I believe that the work done by Lambda Archives and much of the work that you do at the local organizations in San Diego is so important,” Preston said. “We think as this liberation as this far, distant reality, not understanding that we get to enjoy that in this very moment.”
Preston said that history has a dual access, the history in days past and the history that we are creating in the moment.
Preston moved to Los Angeles at the age of 19 from rural Kentucky and began her transition. She said in Kentucky, they didn’t have the colorful words that we have today to describe identity today. She said that she just knew that she was different and unlike the boys she was surrounded with growing up. This caused her to withdraw because she saw no one that looked or felt like her. When she moved to Los Angeles, she said she was excited because for the first time she felt like her full authentic self. But when she transitioned during her job, she said she was not prepared for the bullying, harassment and discrimination. Her human resources department would do nothing about these problems that she was facing. Preston was eventually fired, lost her apartment and found herself of the streets of Hollywood. Shelters would not accept her and the few times she did get in, she was raped and sexually assaulted.
“The streets felt much safer than anywhere else I could be,” Preston said. “And I owe so much of my survival to sex workers. When I was struggling, the church did not help me. All of these organizations with millions of dollars, would not help me. It was the drag queens performing at the bars that would share their tips with me. It was the sex workers that put clothes on my back and made sure that I had food and a place to sleep. They were the only sense of family that I had.’
Preston said eventually she went into sex work because she knew if she didn’t do something quickly that she wasn’t going to survive.
“Everything that I had to do to in the name of survival was so gut-wrenching and heartbreaking I started using methamphetamines as a social lubricant to numb me from all of the trauma that I faced on a day to day basis. This is the story of what it is like to be a trans woman of color living life on the margins.”
Preston said we carry the legacy that was built on the backs of homeless sex workers Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera who put their bodies, health, and safety on the line that we could make sure all of us had inalienable rights for safe space in living our lives authentically.
Preston eventually began volunteering to surround herself with her own people. She quickly realized that in working with non-profits that they were only a paycheck away from being placed in the demographics that they served. She said many of these boards and executives don’t reflect the demographics that they serve.
“It ended with me sitting across from them handing me my last paycheck and thanking me for my time,” Preston said. “While they treated all the gay white men with all of this love, gave them all of the resources. They would pull the black and brown people out of the bottom drawers int the trauma corner for donor dollars and then toss us aside when fundraising season was over.”
Preston said she could not watch these organizations, that stated their missions, which were complete lies.
“I realized, even though we are part of the LGBTQIA community doesn’t mean that racism, sexism and transphobia don’t exist,” Preston said. “I realized that we can’t heal what we don’t reveal.”
Preston talked about many things that people of color are still facing today and said that in order for things to change, it has to start from the top, and include the minority groups that “are in the margins,” not only in assistance, but in everyday life as in hiring them to work, giving them the opportunities to succeed and that it has to start within the LGBTQ community.
—Albert Fulcher can be reached at [email protected].
