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Home Columns

MY GOOD TOOTIE

Get off, and get it off your chest

03/13/2020
in Columns, Featured, My Good Tootie
0
MY GOOD TOOTIE

Tootie

My Good Tootie wants to hear your deepest secrets about sex and love, relationships and sex, sex and friendships… and did I mention sex? Anonymously. Get off and get it off your chest. I pinky-promise to be honest and candid and keep it fun, I expect the same from you. Speaking of fun, listen to my “Campfire Shit Show” podcast interview, where I mention this article. https://campfire-sht-show.simplecast.com/episodes/tootie-drags-us-into-the-sleeping-bag-for-a-big-juicy-kiss-on-the-lips Pass it on.

Hey there, My Good Tootie. I am a new nudist here (about two years) looking to meet some fellow nudists. Is there a club or place here in San Diego?  I’m new to town and new to all of this. Just looking to hang out for now in private, as I am shy and want a friend with me my first time at Black’s Beach or someplace like that. I really want to go to a hot springs. Right now, I have two roommates and finding time when they’re not home is difficult. Luckily, I can get an hour in here or there, cleaning and walking around the apartment nude. I think I may really connect with men who are also unclothed but nervous and never did that in a non-sexual way. Maybe I should try it with someone I’m not attracted to, in order to keep from getting aroused. I’m really not sure about all of this. This is a big step.

Dear My Good Newdist: Freedom is great and one day you’ll be able to drop-trou at the door when you get home from work and not worry about roommates. San Diego and Southern California is rich with oppor-nudities! A hiking trail in Riverside, hot springs in the desert, private clubs in Palm Springs, nudist retreats here in San Diego’s East County, naked yoga, Black’s Beach, San Onofre’s Trail 6 Beach, and private individuals who would love to have you over to their place. Sometimes, there are lines drawn between naturists’ need to bare all and sexuality. In mixed groups or private public areas, sexual arousal and acts are not welcomed or even tolerated. Getting comfortable with friends who also love to strip down is useful in redirecting your energy. Meetup.com offers groups and events that nudies would enjoy and then there’s Nudies (www.nudies.club). Get out of town to get out of your drawers. Sometimes being in foreign places releases our inhibitions. Place an ad, answer an ad, make a friend and go watch a movie, barbecue, hot tub over at their place. Being a nudist means freedom and love of your body, and an appreciation of others. Spend concerted time loving and pampering your body, massages, skin treatments, tanning, daily moisturizing regimens, artistic selfies, temporary tattoos — they will all make you want to show off what’s down under. Remove the shame, stigma and taboo and you’ll remove the things that hold you back from being au natural.

Hi Tootie! I am divorced and starting my entire life over from scratch. Being married for years, I lost all the things that made me…me. I am rediscovering those things, and I am happier overall. I’ve made new friends and rediscovered sex with men. In my new life, I have found one thing I miss and that’s falling asleep with someone. While married, it was my wife, and now I am looking for that experience with a man. I fall asleep thinking about what it would be like to do that with a guy. I am unsure of where to find someone to simply cuddle with at night and maybe have sleepovers. Not really looking for a relationship, just a friend I can cuddle with for the physical aspect of having a guy fall asleep in my arms sometimes. I’m in my mid-40s looking for a casual kind of thing where we can sometimes crash out together. Am I being selfish? Are there others who feel this absence like me.

My good Divorcee, I love that you found yourself again…and men. Never too late, and while I hope you parted with your wife as friends and that the life-change didn’t take a huge toll on family and friends, a life lived without, is a life half lived. It’s hard to have new guys you meet come over for fun and then stay till morning. That may happen once in a while but then they think it’s leading to something else, and not breakfast. More unholy relationships are started by a sleepover. https://www.certifiedcuddlers.com/cuddlers_list/  I’m not trying to sleep talk you out of it, just saying that being upfront in saying what you’re looking for is the best policy. College kids away from home love a cuddle buddy, other divorcees love a cuddle buddy, bears are known for hibernation, wayward couch-surfing travelers https://www.couchsurfing.com/ are more comfortable in a bed snuggled up (hide your valuables) — be open and be prepared. When you have that “why did you bring a banana to bed?” moment, how do you handle it? That kind of thing can keep you up all night. Make a friend that you can condition into cuddling and sleepovers; I’m thinking camping trips, a small tent, cold weather, a soft comforter and long johns…or a dog. Get a dog. They make the best on-demand cuddle buddies. https://www.sdhumane.org/   

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