The Shoulders I stand upon
By Big Mike Phillips
This month I am continuing my column by introducing you to God’s prized creation, the women who have been such a positive influence in life. Oh my God, there are so many I want to share with you. I will do my best to include as many of these incredible women that I can. They are all worth mentioning.
Shannon Wagner has been the executive director of Being Alive for over 25 years, she is one of the kindest and funniest people I have ever met. I’ve been living with HIV since 1984, and she has not only helped me with getting help but tens of thousands of others depend on the services Being Alive provides on an everyday basis. She is my sister, mentor and one of my dearest friends. Thank you, Shannon.
Carolina Ramos, the Angel of Hillcrest, our very own Mother Teresa to so many people. We met over 30 years ago and became very fast friends. We developed into a family and she is the sister I never had. We have grown as we’ve worked together to support each other in our mission to be there for those who need our help most. Carolina advocates for Latino, women, lesbian, LGBTQ and human rights and has since the day I met her, and she is loved by so many in San diego. Thank you, Carolina.
Julia Legaspi, “Jhigs,” as she is known to her friends, wow, what an amazing and loving transgender woman (who I had no idea was even Trans for the first several years I knew her). A leader in so many capacities here in San Diego and a positive voice that has made our community grow. She came from Cavite City, Philippines, to the United States with no money, to starting her own hair salon, where she just celebrated its 40th anniversary. A small businesswoman, advocate for human rights, especially Trans people of color. Jhigs has broken barriers in our city, county, state, and nation, by becoming the very first transgender to serve on many boards and commissions. Impressively her list is so long, but I will share that because of all her appointments, it has made her the third transgender person to be appointed to public office in the entire US. She has always been and still is at the table for equality for all human rights. Thank You, Jhigs.
Rita and Shawna Aqueche-Moran. “My ladies,” is what I have called these two amazing women in my life. I met Rita with mutual friends while I was working at Jimmy Carter’s Mexican Café so many years ago. We became instant friends. We both have a love for photography and would go out together to capture and photograph places, things, and people.
I remember Rita coming into the restaurant one afternoon and said she had a blind date. It was the first time all of us at Jimmy Carters would meet this incredible loving woman, her future partner, Shawna. They have been together ever since. I was so excited when Rita asked me if I would join their family and take photos of her proposing, which was a total surprise for Shawna and it was a very happy “yes” to Rita. I was then so honored to be Rita’s best man. I have never been a best man in anyone’s wedding before and to be included in such a loving way to help celebrate their commitment to each other, touched my heart. It is a day I will always remember. I love my two amazing women. They have retired to Menifee, California, so I do not see them often, but they are always there for me and have always supported my causes. I love you both, we are family. Thank You Rita and Shawna.
Courtney Ray, one of our community’s straight allies, from the first time I met her, with my then-roommate and dearest friend in my life Joey Arruda. They were opening Club Montage at the time around 1998, and she was the general manager. Courtney is a bold, beautiful, tell-it-like-it-is, no-nonsense woman, who has always stood up for all human rights and equality and still does to this very day.
She became one of our community’s favorite and most beloved straight advocates and supporters. We became great friends and anytime I needed something for our charity events or organizations that needed help, Courtney would reach out and ask, “How can we help?” I love Courtney, she has so much positive and loving energy. You can find her at Harley Grey restaurant in Mission Hills. Drop by and say hello and thank her for all her dedication toward our beloved LGBTQ community. We all love you Courtney, thank you.
One special lady I must mention is my dear friend Sally Hall. She always calls me “baby boy,” a sweet gesture of love. I met Sally at Lisa and Megan Sanders’ wedding in Balboa Park in 2010. Lisa is former San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders’ daughter, and you may remember when he spoke out on national TV in favor of gay marriage because of his daughter. He took a stand on behalf of equality and social justice when it wasn’t an everyday thing. I sat down next to Sally at the wedding, and we struck up a conversation, and that was all it took, we connected right away.
Sally is a very devoted Lesbian woman, who supports so many great causes and is a huge advocate for LGBTQ and women’s rights. In fact, Sally had started one of the very first streaming Gay News networks, called “That’s So Gay Live.” She invited me to help report the news and put out information on events that was going on with our community. She also allowed me to do a segment call “Human First.” Unfortunately, mainly because of the lack of money, we had to let it go. With this opportunity, Sally helped make me more aware of my surroundings and the things that make life safe and important. We remain wonderful friends, and I will always be grateful to have been included with her journey through “That’s So Gay Live.” Thank You, Sally.
Finally, my wonderful friend Morgan M. Hurley, who I met while she was editor of Gay San Diego newspaper. It was during that time we got to know each other better. If I remember correctly, Morgan would come into Bourbon Street every now and then, as well. A proud and retired LGBTQ Navy veteran, she has served on the Benjamin F. Dillingham and Bridget Wilson LGBTQ Veteran Wall of Honor advisory council, which was founded by Nicole Murray Ramirez and is housed and supported by the San Diego LGBT Community Center.
Morgan has written so many powerful and inspiring articles over the years about different places, people, and events, that she has been able to share because of her gift as a writer. I have so much appreciation for Morgan as a great friend, but also for believing in me by offering me this opportunity to write my own column. Being able to tell my stories of my life here in San Diego as well as introducing so many other individuals that have help create an amazing place to live and grow with me. Thank you, Morgan.
There are still so many incredible women I would love to introduce you to. I am honored to have so many women in my life, they all inspire me to be a better person, I will write about many again in my future columns. A huge thank you to each of these extraordinary women who will always have a loving and special place in my heart.
These are the shoulders I stand upon.
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Ahhh baby boy. What wonderful words and what am honor to be listed with all those fab women. Thank you.
And to keep women in the know, there will be a Women’s Pride Dance Thursday July 18th at The Rail.
The Monthly Women’s Dance resumes 3rd Friday in August at The Rail. Starts with Happy Hour at 5pm.
I adore you, always. Sally Hall