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Invest in Yourself: Your mental health is worth your time and money

By Michael Kimmel

09/02/2021
in Columns, Community Voices, Feature, Featured, Features, Life Beyond Therapy
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We shop around for cars, homes, good deals on washer-driers and new kitchen appliances. We compare new refrigerators (or whatever) on features, price and appearance. We are good shoppers who spend our money well.

But how do we invest in ourselves?

I have had clients buy a lot of stuff when they were unhappy: From a banana split to a split-level house in Palm Springs, from a $20,000 facelift to a $20 t-shirt. All this stuff was supposed to make them feel better. And it did, for a while, but eventually, the newness of anything you buy wears off and then you’re just back home, stuck with your same old self.

So why is investing in yourself a good idea?

Do you take care of your physical health? Why spend all that time and money? Because it’s a good investment in yourself. Isn’t your mental health the same? Therapy is an investment of time, money and energy. If you use it well, the rewards are often – literally – life-changing.

I don’t know if I’d be here today if it weren’t for good psychotherapy. I’m not sure I would have made it through some really tough times. I remember, many years ago, feeling so depressed and hopeless that I laid down on the floor of my (tiny) studio apartment and said, “God, take me away from this. It’s just too hard. I can’t take it anymore.” I closed my eyes and waited.

I was quite disappointed when nothing happened.

A part of me had expected to be lifted up to the sky and given a heavenly penthouse where I could talk with God any time I wanted so that, eventually, after She magically changed my personality to something much better, I would be beamed back to earth and given another chance.

It sounds comical now, but, at the time, I just didn’t think I could keep going. When God didn’t beam me up, I decided to just stay in bed and be depressed. After a few days like this, I told myself, “If you feel this way in two weeks, we’re going to find a good therapist.” Two weeks and a sink full of dirty dishes later, I still felt shitty, but I did keep my commitment to myself; I started therapy.

I can honestly tell you that it is the best investment I’ve ever made. I wasn’t a therapist then – I was a musician in way-too-many bands – but I knew, the day I laid on that apartment floor, that I needed help and I couldn’t get there on my own. I had great friends, and they listened with love and attention, but I needed professional assistance. I hired a personal trainer when I wanted to improve my body, but I didn’t want to spend the money on a therapist to improve my mind. Plus, I was raised to think that only crazy people went to therapy.

Now, of course, I’ve been a therapist myself for over twenty years. In many ways, I am glad that I had a rough early life because it’s given me a level of empathy and understanding that I wouldn’t have if my first few decades were easy. I’ve learned a lot from my childhood of trauma and abuse. In fact, if I had a happy childhood, I’d probably be a landscape architect today.

Maybe next lifetime.

Therapy is a place where you can learn a lot about yourself, your motivations, your history and how you can change. A good therapist helps you see your blind spots and how to work with what Carl Jung called, “your dark side” (the parts of yourself that you would much rather not have to acknowledge, thank you very much).

Therapy is an investment in yourself. Unlike a car or a house, it’s not so easily seen, but since it’s you who lives in your mind, you know when you’re feeling good (and when you’re not). And, after all, who can put a price on your happiness?

Invest in yourself; you’re worth it.

—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

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@thestudiodoor is launching a new annual exhibitio @thestudiodoor is launching a new annual exhibition called ART+ LGBT History Month, in conjunction with October’s LGBT History Month.

Held Oct. 5-28, the month-long exhibit will feature the work of local artists, including Jackie Han, Carole Kuck, RD Riccoboni, Joe Phillips, and a number of works curated from Lambda Archives’ extensive collection.

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BREAKING NEWS: Southern California Shop Owner Murd BREAKING NEWS: Southern California Shop Owner Murdered Over Rainbow Flag Dispute.

Lauri Rosenthal Carleton, owner of fashion boutique Mag.Pi (@magpi_shop) in Cedar Glen, Calif., was murdered Friday night, according to the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Department. Those close to Carleton say the gunman shot her over a dispute about an LGBTQ pride flag hung outside her shop.

According to an initial report by the San Diego Bernardino Sheriff’s Department, Carleton was shot by the male suspect who arrived at her store and erratically removed the pride flag she had hung outside of her shop to express her support for the LGBTQ community. 

Carleton was said to have confronted the male after he removed the flag, who then shot her multiple times before fleeing. Carleton was pronounced dead from the gunshot injuries on the scene by emergency medical personnel.

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Due to police activity that began just after 7:15p Due to police activity that began just after 7:15pm Thurs, today’s print issue of LGBTQ San Diego County News will be delayed.  Several streets near our printer’s office remained closed as of 11:30am this morning. 

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In the meantime visit lgbtqsd.news to read our digital @Issuu. We are working to get all stories posted online by day’s end. 

Our friends at @abc10news have the full story on the Carlsbad standoff at bit.ly/3YqkhBB or via the link in our bio. 

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🏳️‍🌈 Looking for something to do the Mon 🏳️‍🌈 Looking for something to do the Monday after Pride? We've got a couple options listed in our 2023 #SDPride Guide!

On Monday, July 17, if you're feeling like giving back, you can join the Bankers Hill or Hillcrest Post-Pride Community Cleanups! If you're feeling more like letting loose (or after the cleanup), head to @gossipgrill_ for F*#k Pride Monday!

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