Feliz Julio (July) Friends!!
Time is flying fast! I can’t believe that Summer will be over soon. Lord knows I haven’t had enough running around in cut off t-shirts, 5-inch shorts, sandals, and let’s not forget, this burn/tan! It has been a while since I have been able to enjoy a summer like this. Being on lock-down last year really hit us hard, and now EVERYONE is making up for lost time. This last month I went through some personal growth. I was able to move past some things I have been holding on to and I decided that it would be fun to go on a couple of dates. I have to say, it has been different and exciting.
With COVID-19 restrictions being lifted, I decided to go on a few dates and have some fun; I felt it was time to see what was out there in the big sea. A few months ago, I reconnected with an old acquaintance and we decided to go out on a few dates again; we had gone out on a few dates prior to Covid. Let me tell you, I have never met a sexier optometrist than Ezra. He is funny, intelligent, charismatic, smells and looks good, well dressed, respectful, loving, nurturing and a true gentleman. I continue to think to myself: He is too good to be true, is there a catch? Is he hiding something? Does he want to hurt me? Or why is he so nice? I of course think dark and go into a negative space way too quickly at times. I have been trying to let go of my fear and lack of trust to just appreciate the ride for what it is. If nothing comes of it, at least I can say we enjoyed each other’s company. I will not lie and say I haven’t thought that he is too good for me or wondered what I can even bring to the relationship. Why me? I don’t have the same wealthy lifestyle, I don’t have the fancy cars, and I don’t own expensive brands. How will I ever be able to give him what he gives me or afford to take him on comparable dates? The short answer is I won’t be able to give him anything of that sort, but I do know what I can give him that maybe nobody else has given him, and I quickly get over those negative feelings. It has taken me a journey to understand that it’s not the material things nor the money one has to reciprocate to someone you love. It truly is about what is in the inside: The love, respect, and support; not the consumer things but the EMOTIONAL. I will keep you posted on how things proceed with Ezra and what fabulous places we have gone to. For one, if you are ever in Newport Beach, be sure to check out Mastro’s Steakhouse because the food is just exquisite.
On another note, I decided to take a chance and go on a date with a fellow Latino. I don’t usually date Latin men as I haven’t had the best of luck. Most of the guys I have gone out with are too possessive, jealous, machista/chauvinistic, or just rude. However, I thought I would listen to my mother and go check things out. My mother is convinced that I will do well dating another Latino since they would understand the family dynamic and be comfortable around my family from Mexico who speak little to no English. Two weeks ago, I went to a wedding in Ensenada, Baja California. Low and behold, I meet a cutie named Christian. I had seen him before a few months prior while facetiming my friend attending the bachelorette party for the wedding. I remember seeing him for a few seconds next to her and asking, “Who is that?” and she giggled and was like, “He’s soooo not your type!” I let it go and figured I would trust my friend. I wasn’t aware that he would be attending the wedding or maybe I simply forgot. Anyways, we ended up recognizing each other; we both timidly laughed and said “Hi. I asked her (my friend) who that was, and she said, “Oh my good friend, but I don’t think you are his type”.” We both giggled some more and instantly said, “You’re cute!” We got to talking and we quickly learned we had a lot of things in common. Christian and I seemed to be together most of the weekend. I had a blast getting to know him and it was funny to see him try to get me drunk. Let me tell you, that boy can drink! The weekend went by way too fast, and we had to say farewell and agreed to connect back in the states. He lives in Los Angeles and I live in San Diego… So, we shall see how this goes. We are supposed to hang out in a couple of weeks. I will let you all know how it goes as I haven’t told him that I am HIV positive and don’t know if he will be ok with it or not!
Going back to the apps and online dating, it seems like the number one question has moved away from “Are you clean?” or “Are you HIV negative?”, and it has been replaced with “Are you vaccinated? I am, I got… (Moderna, Pfizer, or Johnson & Johnson)”. Then, of course, you have those who fully disclaim they are vaccinated and “just looking for now”. It has definitely been weird not getting asked my status right away and getting blocked or ghosted. I don’t like to post my status, even though there is a section for that, because I think that is something personal that should be told rather than advertised. I am not ashamed, nor do I feel stigma about it. I just feel like the subject is best discussed on a need-to-know basis rather than putting it out there for everyone to see.
I am excited to see what July has instore for you all and me! I hope you continue to thrive and, if you are single, put yourself into the dating scene and have some fun. Remember to respect and love yourself; take the time you need to process or evaluate situations. Make the best choices for you. Always be honest and open about your status and your sexual practices. Allow the other person to make their choice and be honest with yourself. Have fun and who knows, you might find someone special that doesn’t care about your status, someone who falls in love with you for who YOU are.
I cannot wait to catch you up on my adventures soon and I hope that you go on some great ones yourself. Remember that RuPaul always says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Preach Mama Ru!
See you soon and lots of love,