by Michael Kimmel
I used to think that only โolderโ people were interested in gardening. You know, us people over 40. But lately, several of my younger clients โ men and women in their 20s and 30s โ are finding peace and satisfaction in gardening. In fact, one young man inspired me to write this column. In his current apartment, he and his partner have just a tiny patch of back yard, but they are using it to grow all kinds of stuff, from flowers to food. And theyโre loving it.
Another client has only a balcony at his apartment, but he has filled it with a bunch of potted plants, including mint and other herbs that he uses in cooking. He told me last week, โI love growing this stuff, itโs really calming and satisfying.โ
I, of course, am an avid gardener. As a psychotherapist, I personally find that gardening keeps me grounded and calm, better than almost anything else: Iโd put it right up there with counseling as a way to cultivate good mental health.
Even pulling weeds, not my favorite task, calms me down. Maybe itโs because gardening is so tangible, so concrete โฆ so real.
Thereโs nothing theoretical about gardening: Either your plants grow or they donโt; if you have weeds (and we all do), you either pull them or you donโt. Thereโs nothing vague or abstract about it. Itโs just you and your plants: You water them, put them in places where you think the sun/shade balance is good, and you wait.
Yes, gardening does encourage patience!
If youโre like me, you talk to your plants โฆ and listen. I think I hear them tell me, โIโm not happy here, move me over there,โ or โIโd like a little more water, please.โ Maybe Iโm imagining it all. Doesnโt matter. Plants are alive and maybe Iโm tuning into something theyโre putting out. Regardless, I talk with my plants and they return the favor.
I started doing some research on the benefits of gardening, and I found quite a few:
- As your garden thrives, you thrive: The satisfaction of watching something grow is not to be underestimated
- Exercise: Itโs not the same as going to the gym, but the more you work in the garden, the more (gentle) exercise you get.
- Vitamin D: Healthy sun exposure (not too much) is good for you. If youโre like me, you wear a hat with a big brim, a thin, long-sleeved, cotton T-shirt and gardening gloves to prevent sun damage (I donโt like the feeling of sunscreens on my skin, so Iโve found these alternatives).
- Being outside: You get out of the house/office, into fresh air, sunshine, feeling the wind on your face, hearing the birds and watching the butterflies circle around.
- Getting your hands in the earth: Itโs so calming to dig in the dirt, pull weeds in the dirt, fertilize the dirt and harvest your herbs/food from the dirt.
- You can grow whatever you want: If you want low-maintenance plants, try cactus, succulents and Native California plants. Theyโll give you much satisfaction for very little effort.
- You donโt need to spend much money: Oh sure, you can buy lots of expensive stuff at fancy nurseries, but many of my plants came from friends and neighbors. If you want to start a garden (or just a few pots of plants), tell your friends who garden and ask them for help and advice. Most gardeners love passing their knowledge on and will happily give you seeds, cuttings, and plants of your own.
- A garden can be a place of privacy, rest and peace: Like a mini retreat, you can go to your garden to get away from people, noise, conversation and hang out in peace and quietude.
A garden doesnโt have to be practical. You donโt need to get a return on your โinvestmentโ unless youโre committed to growing your own food. As a happy gardener since my first balcony garden in Manhattan in 1980 (where I had a few potted plants), hereโs my advice: Donโt get too ambitious. Donโt make it another project to do โperfectly.โ
Let it be fun. Easy. Relaxing.
And if you happen to get a few pretty flowers or delicious tomatoes out of it, thatโs fine, too.
โMichael Dale Kimmel is a local licensed psychotherapist (LCSW 20738) in private practice and an author. You can learn more about him and his work at lifebeyondtherapy.com.
