• Home
  • About us
  • Advertising
  • Digital Archive
  • Contact
    • Letter to the Editor
Tuesday, February 7, 2023
No Result
View All Result
NEWSLETTER
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news-logo-475x166
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Film
    • Music
    • Books
    • Theater
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
      • Court News
      • News Briefs
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
        • Mara W. Elliot
        • Summer Stephan
        • Susan Davis
        • Toni G. Atkins
    • Features
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • Travel
    • The Frivolist
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Queer Parenting
    • Notes from Toni
    • Trans Talk with Connor
    • Pozitively Michael
    • Powerful Black Women
    • Lambda Archives
  • Business
    • Best of Gay San Diego
    • Business Profile
    • Wedding Directory
    • Expert Advice
    • Sponsored Links
  • Out & About
  • Calendar
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news-logo
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Film
    • Music
    • Books
    • Theater
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
      • Court News
      • News Briefs
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
        • Mara W. Elliot
        • Summer Stephan
        • Susan Davis
        • Toni G. Atkins
    • Features
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • Travel
    • The Frivolist
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Queer Parenting
    • Notes from Toni
    • Trans Talk with Connor
    • Pozitively Michael
    • Powerful Black Women
    • Lambda Archives
  • Business
    • Best of Gay San Diego
    • Business Profile
    • Wedding Directory
    • Expert Advice
    • Sponsored Links
  • Out & About
  • Calendar
No Result
View All Result
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news
No Result
View All Result

Comfortable with Uncertainty

By Michael Kimmel

03/03/2022
in Columns, Feature, Featured, Features, Life Beyond Therapy
0
Comfortable with Uncertainty
0
SHARES
87
VIEWS

COVID continues. Russia Invades the Ukraine. Inflation is high. Financial instability, global warming and institutional racism continue to plague us all. I’m 68 years’ old and I cannot remember a time of such uncertainty. Who can we count on? What is stable and lasting? How much can we predict our lives in the next week/month/year/decade?

Uncertainty occurs when things are in a state of flux and we don’t know what will happen next. The first step toward becoming more comfortable with uncertainty is accepting that – as much as we wish it weren’t true – almost nothing is certain. The world outside of us changes all the time, as does our internal (emotional) world.

On the positive side, learning to be comfortable with uncertainty makes life a lot more fun: instead of living from a rigid, fear-based place where we try (unsuccessfully) to control everyone and everything, we can relax, enjoy what comes our way and be more spontaneous.

How do we get there? Well, it’s a process…and there’s no time like today to begin. Here are some ideas that work for me and my clients:

  • Be aware of your breathing: make it slower and deeper. When we’re afraid, our breathing is usually fast and shallow; this increases our stress and anxiety.
  • Don’t be a Lone Ranger: in these difficult times, we need to know that we’re not alone and that our reactions to the uncertainty in the world are normal. Many of my clients say things like, “Are other people as scared about the future as I am?” It helps to know we’re not alone.
  • Be of service and do something meaningful (however small) for someone in need or less fortunate.
  • Drink more water – many of us don’t drink enough water and our bodies end up in a state of mild dehydration that exacerbates our stress and anxiety.
  • Explore constructive ways to release your emotions. Sometimes, when I meditate, I find myself gently crying – seemingly, for no conscious reason. I think my subconscious is so frustrated with the world that it needs to let it out. I also find myself more easily angered and annoyed: I’m working with that one by being more physical (e.g., hiking, walking, gardening, swimming, going to the gym and yoga).
  • Engage in physical movement: movement is the body’s internal lubricant.
  • Find ways to accept the uncertainty in the world right now. Admit that you are powerless to control most of what goes on out there. Do what you can to effect change and then do what you can to find some inner peace.
  • Reach out to someone (in-person is ideal) who will listen to you with kindness and emotional availability.
  • Remind yourself often of all the good things in your life.

Where does this fear of uncertainty come from? It’s the pain of anticipated loss and change. We’re comfortable with our routines and possessions, the people we know and places that are familiar. We worry about the possible loss of our comfortable, dependable life. So, we resist any changes that uncertainty might bring. However, it isn’t the change itself that’s the problem – it’s fighting and fearing change that makes us anxious and scared.

But what if we could become so comfortable with change so that we didn’t fear it? You can see this in people who we call “adventurous”: these men and women welcome new experiences, because they know they’ll be fine, and that life can be more amazing than it is now.

As I’m becoming more comfortable with uncertainty, I don’t fear life’s changes (as much). I’m getting better at taking on new challenges (e.g., considering retirement) and creating new things (e.g., writing my first fiction book) that I would’ve been afraid of in the past. When I’m face-to-face with a great, big piece of uncertainty in my life – be it COVID or a difficult neighbor – I’m learning to handle it with a lot less fear, anger and/or resistance.

As all of us grow more comfortable with uncertainty, we can respond instead of react to life’s never-ending challenges, and experience the deep security of knowing that – no matter what the world throws at us – we’ll be fine.

—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBTQ clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Next Post
Nicole Murray Ramirez State Tribute Dinner

Nicole Murray Ramirez State Tribute Dinner

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read our digital edition

Volume 4, Issue 9, February 2023

SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER

AIDS Memorial Groundbreaking to be Held February 1 AIDS Memorial Groundbreaking to be Held February 10th!. For over 35 years, there has been a campaign for San Diego to join cities across North America to establish an AIDS Memorial honoring and remembering the over 8,500 men, women, and children who have died of AIDS. Read full story on the link below.

http://ow.ly/16rR50ML1EG
The Devil is alive in the United States, and it li The Devil is alive in the United States, and it lives in right wing, Republican driven state legislators. According to an article written by Matt Loffman for PBS, the Human Rights Campaign has identified 30 state legislators who proposed more than 115 bills targeting Transgender, Gender Non-Conforming, and Non-Binary rights in their states. Everything from participation in sports to accessing medical care has been attacked. According to a poll conducted by PBS NewsHour/NPR/Marist fewer than 3 in 10 people support any anti-Trans legislation, yet the Republic legislators continue to introduce and vote for all of them. It is hard to understand why these Republicans are voted into office over and over when they obviously do not reflect the wishes of their constituents. click link to read more

http://ow.ly/smtK50MIEEA
What started as a personal social media project vi What started as a personal social media project via Instagram during the pandemic, Hillcrest San Diego has become a 10K subscriber resource for news, history, memes, and all things Hillcrest. We caught up with Rick Cervantes the force behind the account to get to know more about the motivation behind it, the plans for the Instagram account and the upcoming inaugural #hillcrestsandiego Honors with its reception schedule for Monday February 6 at Uptown tavern to honor local community members and organizations.
Read the full Interview on the link below
http://ow.ly/OJ9k50MIEBZ
Our community has been built on the need for resou Our community has been built on the need for resources and support, and sectors in our community have also been called to create organizations that enrich and serve their own specific needs. One such organization is the San Diego LGBTQ Coalition.  Read full article on the link below
https://lgbtqsd.news/san-diego-black-lgbtq-coalition-a-stronger-front-for-the-betterment-of-the-community/
Read all our February Issue Articles on our websit Read all our February Issue Articles on our website!
https://lgbtqsd.news

our on our Digital edition courtesy of issuu!
https://issuu.com/sdcnn0/docs/lgbtq_news_february_2023
They are fresh off the press! They are fresh off the press!
The February Issue is OUT Today! Pick up a copy a The February Issue is OUT Today! 
Pick up a copy around town!
We are Welcoming February with a NEW Issue! We are Welcoming February with a NEW Issue!
Black History Includes Black LGBTQ History! Black History Includes Black LGBTQ History!
Load More... Follow on Instagram
lgbtq_san_diego_county_news

© 2019 LGBTQ San Diego County News. All rights reserved.

Navigate our site

  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact

Follow Us

No Result
View All Result
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Books
    • Film
    • Music
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
    • Features
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
      • Susan Davis
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • The Frivolist
  • Business
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Black Lives
    • C…Community
    • Frankly Speaking
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • My Good Tootie
  • Out & About
  • Contact
  • Archive
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Calendar

© 2019 LGBTQ San Diego County News. All rights reserved.

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Fill the forms bellow to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In