What a world we live in right now. With the coronavirus as a global enemy, now we are watching our country protest racism and police brutality on a massive scale. While peaceful demonstrations continue to take place all over the world, some have turned very violent and have resulted in the destruction of public and private property. Many innocent businesses are being targeted and burned down by rioters and looters, causing hardships. I personally never thought I would witness anything like this in my lifetime. I pray our country and our world will heal from this madness. Not being able to live in a normal world where we can be together but have to be quarantined has been very hard on all of us. Many of us have lost our jobs and are not able to enjoy the company of our family and our friends. A positive thing that has come from this is so many of us are finding different ways to survive and make the most of what we have so we can still accomplish what we need to do. One such person, who is a prime example of just that, is my dear friend Vanessa Dubois, or Frenchie as many of her friends like to call her.
Vanessa was born into a very loving family in France. Growing up, her family was all about sharing their love with each other and their friends. But accepting Vanessa’s sexuality did take a toll on their relationship for a while. Vanessa has a sister living in Amsterdam who is married to a wonderful man she is happy to have as her brother-in-law, along with an adoring nephew who steals her heart. Her mom lives close to Paris, France but since the pandemic hit, they make it a point to talk once or twice every single day to make sure each of them are doing well and staying safe. They are remarkably close and depend on each other for moral support even though they are divided by an ocean. Unfortunately, Vanessa lost her dad last year to a brain tumor and is still dealing with the loss of such an amazing father who touched so many lives. I know her dad would be enormously proud of her as Vanessa has become such a loving, compassionate, and hardworking young lady. Love is strong and living her life in that manner will help her get through almost anything. Anyone who gets up and moves to another part of the world alone must be scared and nervous. I personally think Vanessa was very brave to challenge herself to experience a new adventure that would change her life forever.
After Vanessa graduated from college with a Bachelor of Science in Marine Biology, she decided to move to San Diego to do an internship at San Diego State University, with the Cetacean Behavior Laboratory to study dolphins. While doing her internship at SDSU, Vanesa started volunteering in a special education school to learn more about autism because she was interested in a dolphin-assisted therapy. She fell in love with working with children on the spectrum, which led her to work for 13 years in the field of special needs (kids and adults, school, day programs and at-home therapy). Vanessa misses working in this profession but her degree was not in this field so she could not get promoted. She took a break from working with the kids and ended up working in the dental profession instead. She told me it was not by choice, it just happened. Vanessa committed herself to that field for almost four years but at the end of 2019, the universe kept showing her that it was time to follow her true passion: photography. Vanessa had been working as a photographer on the side (nights and weekends) for years, but it was perfect timing and she became a full-time freelancing photographer in January. Between San Diego and Los Angeles, her time has been spent trying to get her name out there by building a solid clientele mostly in the LGBTQ+ community.
Vanessa’s dad was the first person she saw with a camera and she always told herself that she would take photos just like him when she grew up. She purchased her first camera while in college (her excuse was to be able to take photos of dolphins while doing her research/internship during her final year of studies). She loved photography so much that she started taking photos while not thinking much about it. People started encouraging her to pursue it professionally by telling her that she had an eye for it. I personally also agree — Vanessa’s photography shows so much talent and is exceptionally beautiful. Again, she still was not really seriously thinking about it, until one day, she took a day trip with two friends to visit Hearst Castle in San Simeon, California. Vanessa ended up taking some amazing photos on the beach and those photos are what started her career as a photographer. Since then, she has taken portraits and landscape photos, and then 10 years ago, she shot her first wedding as a favor for a friend. I personally always get nervous taking wedding photos — if you mess up, you mess up a couple’s most important day. Luckily, that has only happened once to me throughout the many years I have worked as a photographer. The good news is I got all the wedding photos but somehow, I deleted the ones from the reception. The couple were very forgiving (thank God for cell phone photos).
For the last 20 years, Vanessa has been capturing the moments, faces and creativity of what she sees through her camera’s lens. Knowing that her work will leave a memory for those she has focused on, events she has attended, shows she has highlighted, San Diego’s many beautiful and talented drag queens will also be perfect models for photography that she can share with the world. Vanessa’s good friend Kelsie Taylor taught her how to shoot on manual settings when she was Taylor’s second shooter for a wedding. Since then, Vanessa only shoots in manual. That itself is a talent and a gift for a great photographer. Having wonderful opportunities to be able to be a photographer for several local community papers and magazines such as the LGBT Weekly, Flawless Magazine and San Diego Pix opened doors for Vanessa to fall in love with our community’s nightlife and talented drag queens, who have become her main focus.
Vanessa appreciates and is always eager to learn from so many photographers who are out there. As a photographer myself, I know that San Diego has a lot of extraordinarily talented photographers who are always willing to help each other better their craft. One special photographer that has always inspired her is the talented and sweet Kristofer Reynolds. Vanessa speaks fondly of her friend and teacher — not only of his art but his heart too, which makes him a beautiful person; she is so blessed to call him her friend. She also is excited to learn from another amazing talented photographer Rob Lucas whose work speaks for itself; it’s simply beautiful. Vanessa has become an incredible, talented photographer who I have had the pleasure of working with and alongside at many events over the years. I, too, have learned so much from her. As she grows with her talents, she always dedicates her photo work in memory of her dad and I am sure he is immensely proud of her. A huge thank you to Vanessa’s dad for inspiring her to share her beautiful talents with the world. “Never stop.”
Vanessa shared with me how she came out of the closet as a Gay woman. She said that after she came to the United States, she thought she was straight. Even though it had crossed her mind that maybe she was gay, she kept telling herself she was not. One night, Vanessa just so happened to be invited to a friend’s birthday party. It was there that she met two girls her age and felt very connected with them right away. They told her that they were both Lesbians and she responded that their sexuality did not matter to her. After hanging out with them that night, she felt like she had finally found people she could relate to and could feel comfortable around. This made her realize that she probably was not actually straight — “surprise.” It was easy to explore her sexuality because she was far from home and what had been her life for 22 years; she had no one to disappoint or be judged by.
Vanessa’s coming out to herself was easy. Coming out to her family was a different story. Her sister was so supportive from the get-go, but her parents were not at first. They took the news really hard. They told her they failed as parents when they raised her. It took them years to accept her for who she really was. The distance and the lack of exposure made the process a long and difficult one. But once they understood that this was her, their loving nature took over. Four years ago, they came and spent an entire month with Vanessa, she took them to their very first drag show and they met Chad Michaels and the cast of the Dreamgirls. Vanessa would have never thought she would have to explain “tucking” to her dad [laughs]. They went to Out at the Park, the Gay Men’s Chorus Broadway show, then she took them to eat at Urban MO’s, Baja Betty’s and Gossip Grill. They met her friends — not sure who was more excited, her parents or her friends. It was the first time she felt like she did not have to hide or tame who she was. They saw her for who she was and accepted it. To top off their trip, Vanessa surprised them with a day at Disneyland. It summarized her parents’ acceptance and the loving month they spent together. “The Happiest Place on Earth.” It was the best month of Vanessa’s life. She said, “I will cherish that time forever. My coming out may have been a little difficult, it is now in the past. Everyone has adjusted. I am one of the luckiest persons because I can feel the love from my family. And it is a huge part of why I am who I am.”
Getting to know Vanessa and becoming good friends with her over these many years, we try to help each other with jobs that come up. She is a soft spoken and kind woman who loves life and loves our LGBTQ+ community. It is not uncommon to see her volunteering for one of many needed charity organizations and giving of herself. I am so blessed to have Vanessa as a part of my life and San Diego has benefited from her amazing photographic talents. We are so glad you came to swim with the dolphins, you sure have made a huge splash in so many lives. Thank you and always keep your eyes looking through your camera lens to capture more of how you see the world.
You can contact Vanessa at [email protected]
