Big Mike and Russell Roybal

One of the most incredible things about living in San Diego since 1989 has been the friends that have helped mentor, encourage, and support me — it has always been a gift I will cherish till the day I die. When I moved here, I was a 33-year-old man coming from San Antonio, Texas, where everyone knew who I was, to San Diego where I was just another face in the crowd. It made me realize how alone I was. Watching and caring for my best friend, Tino Graziano, while he was dying of AIDS during the last three months of his life really did not give me much time to look for friends. It was because of AIDS organizations like Being Alive, that showed and showered their love on Tino, that I started to meet people here. I came from a city where no one wanted to show any compassion for those with HIV/AIDS, to a city where I was renewed with hope, love and charity was considered normal and welcomed. As I became more involved, I began to be introduced to true leaders in our community, who embraced me as a newcomer and allowed me to get more involved. It was in the mid ’80s when I had been a part of the Imperial Court de San Diego and also co-founder of Ordinary Miracles that I met through my then-roommate Joey Arruda a fun-loving young man by the name of Russell Roybal. We instantly became “sisters” for life.

Russell is not from San Diego. He was born in Hollywood, California, and grew up as a single child in La Puente, California. He was raised a good Catholic Chicano in East Los Angeles County with a loving and accepting family who encouraged him to be the loving overachiever he became in life. Taking education very seriously, he moved to San Diego for the first time in 1990 to attend San Diego State University. While attending SDSU, he became continually active in campus activities, which led to him volunteering for San Diego Pride. After a few years, he became volunteer coordinator for the entire event. As he got more involved in San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community, Russell served on the staff of the San Diego LGBTQ Center. Moving forward in his personal growth, he found himself on the National LGBT Latina Organization (LLEGO) as well as the Gill Foundation. Additionally, he has served in various leadership capacities on the board of directors of several nonprofit organizations — large, small, local, and national. Russell has always realized his voice, his knowledge and love for equality for not just the LGBTQ+ community but for the entire human race, which will always be his focus. His entire career has been dedicated to LGBTQ+ and HIV organizations using his education and his activism to build his entire adult life around the pursuit of justice for Queer people.

Along with Russell, Todd Gloria and myself, we call ourselves “siblings,” me being the much older one between the two of them, of course (though a lot of Russell’s friends love to call him “Supreme” as his nickname, because he is most of the time, at least that is what he told me anyway). I will say this: I have watched Russell grow into an incredible leader starting in our very own local community, to becoming a very respected and dependable national leader. I could not be prouder of his accomplishments and success as he continues to grow.

Russell currently holds the position of chief advancement officer of San Francisco AIDS Foundation and works alongside the organization’s development, marketing and communications, and AIDS/Life Cycle teams. He leads the fundraising, communications, and branding efforts that resource the organization’s programmatic efforts and advance the mission of the foundation.

Previously, Russell was the National LGBTQ Task Force’s deputy executive director. The task force advances full freedom, justice, and equality for LGBTQ+ people. Prior to becoming deputy, Russell was the director of movement building, managing the organization’s leadership development and capacity building programs, which included its annual conference Creating Change. With the experience and knowledge Russell has learned on his amazing journey into activism, his mindfulness practice, being proud (as he likes to say “being Queer”), his ongoing fight for equality, and raising money by producing the task force’s yearly circuit parties and conferences, he’s very busy. Somehow, he also finds time for other activities, too, saying: “I love to scuba dive, play tennis and dance. I live my life on the dance floor!”

As a single man, Russell loves to put it, “I am just married to my work, which has its own wonderful benefits.” Russell identifies himself as gender nonbinary and uses all pronouns…to him, gender is a fluid construct. While working with the task force for so many years, one of the fun ways to raise money and awareness was to produce the Winter Dance Festival in Miami. Once you get to know Russell, you will see how much he loves to be on the dance floor, earning him the true title of “Dancing Queen.” His personality is full of fun, honesty, and acceptance, allowing all ages to feel comfortable around him. Russell is good about getting our younger generation involved by donating money, volunteering as well as showing up to major fundraising events. Russell has been in the business of helping others; he has earned national respect all over the United States. It just seems like everywhere I have been with Russell throughout the United States over the years, everyone knows and loves my “sister”.

I asked Russell to give me one of his favorite quotes that he lives by, which he gladly did: “I do not want to be like everyone else. I do not want any of us to be like everyone else. Being Queer is a blessing and a gift. It is my superpower.”

Because of the friendship Russell and I have built in the last 25 years, he has always remembered to include me, spend time with me and tell me how much he loves me. Watching Russell grow and seeing all he has accomplished has inspired me to work harder and be a better person. Thanks, sister, for just being you. You have helped change and better the lives of so many people; most will never know who you are. You have helped create ways for others to participate just by people showing up; you know that they are helping you with your plan to better the world just by being there. To me, that is why you are such a great leader: you get people to realize the beauty of helping others and donate their time and financial resources. Thanks for being such a great mentor to me, even though you are younger, you have taught me and guided me to understand more about life. Thank you, Russell, and I will always love you, my dear “sister”… Now let us get our youngest “sibling”, Todd Gloria, elected the next mayor of San Diego. I love you.

If you would like to follow Russell Roybal on Instagram — @russellroybal