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The best sleep ever

07/19/2019
in Community Voices, Life Beyond Therapy
0
The best sleep ever

(www.CanStockPhoto.com)

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By Michael Kimmel

Sleep — beautiful, wonderful, drowsy, deep, restful sleep. Don’t we love it? Isn’t it one of the best things in life? Doesn’t it keep us well-rested, content and healthy?

And isn’t it a drag when we can’t have it?

I was talking with a client recently about sleep. He said that he occasionally suffers from insomnia. I asked some questions (“Is it hard to fall asleep?” “Does your mind race?” “What time do you usually wake up?”) and gave him some techniques to try. At the end of our session, he told me, “You really know a lot about sleep, you should write a book about it.”

A book? No thanks. But, a column, sure.

I am an amateur sleep expert. I have done mountains of reading on the subject and experimented on myself with countless sleep-encouraging techniques over the past 25 years. I never thought I really knew that much about sleep until my client gave me a reality check. So let me share with you a little bit of what I know so you can more easily fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up happy and rested.

First of all, when you can’t fall asleep (or stay asleep), stop fighting it — that only makes it worse. You can get up and do something calming (reading something light and fluffy like People magazine) or you can stay in bed and let yourself just lay there comfortably. When I can’t fall asleep, I put on a relaxing guided meditation (with words, to keep my mind occupied), lay on my back on a small mountain of pillows and listen to the words of the meditation as they replace the racing thoughts in my head. Eventually, I start to feel sleepy again.

Here’s another technique I have shared with sleepless clients: imagine yourself in a really beautiful, peaceful place. It may be the best vacation you ever had. It could be the hammock in your backyard or your favorite spot in a desert or public park. Why not have more than one peaceful place in your repertoire? You can always visualize different ones to see which one works best on any given sleepless night.

For many of us, our minds (our “monkey minds,” as the Buddhists call them) keep us awake: our thoughts are bouncing all over the place. We try, but fail, to turn off our worry thoughts, obsessive thoughts…all those thoughts that keep us from falling asleep.

How to work with these intrusive thoughts? Here are a few things to try:

  • Observe them — don’t try to fight them, it’ll just make you more tense. Instead, aim for a neutral stance: try seeing your thoughts as clouds or balloons floating through the sky. Just watch them and let them move on.
  • Replace them with something — I like to use a meditation tape with spoken words, but you can use anything that displaces them. Try counting backwards from 100 or recalling times from your life when you were really happy.
  • Walk away from them — Visualize your monkey mind thoughts as a living “sculpture” piece. See this sculpture on a stage in an auditorium. You are sitting in the front row of the auditorium, watching those crazy thoughts on the stage. Watch for a while, then get up and move toward the back of the auditorium. Now you see your thoughts on stage, but they’re further away: smaller and less annoying. Then move to the back row of the auditorium, where the thoughts are smaller still. Then open the back door of the auditorium and exit, leaving your crazy thoughts onstage, without you to witness them.
  • Relax your body — Find a YouTube video of a guided visualization, one that talks you through relaxing each muscle group of your body, one by one. The more your body relaxes, the sleepier you get. Eventually, you won’t need the guided visualization, you can relax your body yourself: start with your feet, toes, ankles, shins and move slowly upwards. I usually fall asleep before I make it to my shoulders.

Occasional insomnia is normal. Learn to calmly work with it — don’t panic — and it will bother you less and less often. I hope these ideas/techniques are useful, they’ve sure helped me — and my clients — to get the best sleep ever.

— Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

— Graphic by www.canstockphoto.com. 

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September 2023, Volume 4, Issue 23

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It's the right time to get involved! Whether you w It's the right time to get involved! Whether you want to volunteer - or run for office - YOU can do it! @BennyC80 shares encouragement for anyone who wants to make a difference.

READ THE FULL STORY VIA THE LINK IN OUR BIO OR AT: lgbtqsd.news/its-the-right-time-to-get-involved/
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READ THE FULL STORY VIA THE LINK IN OUR BIO OR AT: lgbtqsd.news/its-the-right-time-to-get-involved/
@thestudiodoor is launching a new annual exhibitio @thestudiodoor is launching a new annual exhibition called ART+ LGBT History Month, in conjunction with October’s LGBT History Month.

Held Oct. 5-28, the month-long exhibit will feature the work of local artists, including Jackie Han, Carole Kuck, RD Riccoboni, Joe Phillips, and a number of works curated from Lambda Archives’ extensive collection.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE VIA THE LINK IN OUR BIO OR AT: https://lgbtqsd.news/get-your-art-on-for-lgbt-history-month/
BREAKING NEWS: Southern California Shop Owner Murd BREAKING NEWS: Southern California Shop Owner Murdered Over Rainbow Flag Dispute.

Lauri Rosenthal Carleton, owner of fashion boutique Mag.Pi (@magpi_shop) in Cedar Glen, Calif., was murdered Friday night, according to the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Department. Those close to Carleton say the gunman shot her over a dispute about an LGBTQ pride flag hung outside her shop.

According to an initial report by the San Diego Bernardino Sheriff’s Department, Carleton was shot by the male suspect who arrived at her store and erratically removed the pride flag she had hung outside of her shop to express her support for the LGBTQ community. 

Carleton was said to have confronted the male after he removed the flag, who then shot her multiple times before fleeing. Carleton was pronounced dead from the gunshot injuries on the scene by emergency medical personnel.

READ THE FULL STORY VIA THE LINK IN OUR BIO OR AT: https://lgbtqsd.news/southern-california-shop-owner-murdered-over-rainbow-flag-dispute/
Due to police activity that began just after 7:15p Due to police activity that began just after 7:15pm Thurs, today’s print issue of LGBTQ San Diego County News will be delayed.  Several streets near our printer’s office remained closed as of 11:30am this morning. 

We will update you as we learn more. 

In the meantime visit lgbtqsd.news to read our digital @Issuu. We are working to get all stories posted online by day’s end. 

Our friends at @abc10news have the full story on the Carlsbad standoff at bit.ly/3YqkhBB or via the link in our bio. 

Photo by Maria Coronel- 10 News
🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Happy Pride, San Di 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Happy Pride, San Diego! We hope you’re having a wonderful, safe, joyful celebration this weekend! 

#Pride2023 #HillcrestSanDiego #SDPride #LGBTQ @hillcrestsandiego @SanDiegoPride
🏳️‍🌈 #SDPride weekend is now here! Benny 🏳️‍🌈 #SDPride weekend is now here! Benny Cartwright (@BennyC80) shares his thoughts on poor behavior by some non-LGBTQ guests in our local bars and venues.

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🏳️‍🌈🎨 The PROUD+ exhibition, produced 🏳️‍🌈🎨 The PROUD+ exhibition, produced by @TheStudioDoor, will feature the artwork of 50 contemporary artists from across the nation who identify as LGBTQIA+. 

Read all about it at the link in our bio.

#SDPride #Pride2023 #HillcrestSanDiego #art #LGBTQart
🏳️‍🌈 Looking for something to do the Mon 🏳️‍🌈 Looking for something to do the Monday after Pride? We've got a couple options listed in our 2023 #SDPride Guide!

On Monday, July 17, if you're feeling like giving back, you can join the Bankers Hill or Hillcrest Post-Pride Community Cleanups! If you're feeling more like letting loose (or after the cleanup), head to @gossipgrill_ for F*#k Pride Monday!

Get the details at the link in our bio.

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