Hello lovelies and welcome to Houston, We Have a Problem. I hope you’re ringing in the new year in your own special way. Whether it was a new year’s kiss with a loved one, nursing your inevitable hangovers, or writing out your next great life chapter, we all are accepting our choices we made for the end of 2022. One choice I’m reveling in is the decision to take out the proverbial trash. If you think that sentence is about you then I hope you start to rethink your life choices. This is about self-acceptance and embracing both the good and the bad as you leave the rest behind.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Korie, last name Houston, no relation to Whitney. I’m recently out of an almost 6-year relationship that left me feeling emotions that I didn’t put on my 2022 Bingo card. This also included the severing of two long standing friendships with people who I thought held my best interests in their hearts. Life goes on, love is lost and is found in every avenue, and I think I’ve come to accept that people are not always what they seem and that’s okay. But how much do we allow ourselves to tolerate? Daily affirmations and harmful relationships don’t go hand in hand. Loving people who are not good for your health or your heart goes against the very foundation of self-care. So, what does “new year, new me” represent when you’re still you at the end of the day?
My favorite part about the buildup to a new year is everyone sharing their affirmations and goals for the new year. The reality is, you’re still the same person you were before that clock struck midnight and the calendar turned a page. It’s endearing to watch everyone scrambling to fulfill these resolutions and make life changes both small and huge. Shooting your shot with a potential crush, buying a gym membership, giving up alcohol and for some people ending lifelong relationships. Yes, I’m another bitter Betty, (no pun intended) who is reeling from a breakup but also the ending of connections with loved ones. I’m setting new themes for myself this year & many are along the lines of being who I am and connecting with people who accept that. I believe in the power of intention setting but still honoring the person I am at my core, because all we’re left with are our thoughts, feelings, and the choices we make.
For example, if you spent every waking minute of 2022 not meeting your goals and needs while looking for love that’s okay. Even if you were a serial dater and one day found yourself in a loving relationship, you’re still you just planning for growth. You don’t need to be fully healed as a person to fall in love and be happy. The same goes for those of you who think today is the day you become a baker, an artist or a gym bound muscle queen. I do always say it’s time for me to go from a twink to a twunk, but it’s equally about your headspace as much as your willingness to persevere. We as humans need to surround ourselves with the same energy, we truly desire. Bad friends, bad relationships, bad choices, and bad connections can be detrimental to our growth as human beings. It’s not to say that everything must be a truly awful experience for you to learn to make new and better decisions. It’s just to say mutual love, respect and admiration can head south as quickly as birds for the winter. So how do we protect our hearts and minds when we come up short?
We’re social creatures who are not entitled to love and perfection, but we crave intimacy and validation in every form. Sometimes we stumble and even worse we might fail but that’s part of the intention of creating a theme for how you navigate your new beginnings. It’s a new normal that you continue to strive for. It’s okay for us to embrace the notion that a pathway in life whether it be with singular or multiple people cannot meet our needs and it’s all right to say “Thank you, next” in every aspect of your life. Yes, I did just quote Ariana Grande but there’s several people I could’ve quoted that serve the exact same purpose in this life. Those are the people that remind you, it’s okay to shut that door and hold onto the feelings even if it’s a person, place or situation that no longer serves you now.
Ask yourself if your relationships and connections are fulfilling you. Sometimes the truth is going to hurt and hit you harder than a truck even if the Gays can’t drive particularly well, the sentiment is the same. We aren’t entitled to healthy relationships, but we do deserve to write our own narratives.
What will yours be for 2023?