• Home
  • About us
  • Advertising
  • Digital Archive
  • Contact
    • Letter to the Editor
Tuesday, February 7, 2023
No Result
View All Result
NEWSLETTER
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news-logo-475x166
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Film
    • Music
    • Books
    • Theater
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
      • Court News
      • News Briefs
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
        • Mara W. Elliot
        • Summer Stephan
        • Susan Davis
        • Toni G. Atkins
    • Features
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • Travel
    • The Frivolist
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Queer Parenting
    • Notes from Toni
    • Trans Talk with Connor
    • Pozitively Michael
    • Powerful Black Women
    • Lambda Archives
  • Business
    • Best of Gay San Diego
    • Business Profile
    • Wedding Directory
    • Expert Advice
    • Sponsored Links
  • Out & About
  • Calendar
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news-logo
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Film
    • Music
    • Books
    • Theater
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
      • Court News
      • News Briefs
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
        • Mara W. Elliot
        • Summer Stephan
        • Susan Davis
        • Toni G. Atkins
    • Features
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • Travel
    • The Frivolist
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Queer Parenting
    • Notes from Toni
    • Trans Talk with Connor
    • Pozitively Michael
    • Powerful Black Women
    • Lambda Archives
  • Business
    • Best of Gay San Diego
    • Business Profile
    • Wedding Directory
    • Expert Advice
    • Sponsored Links
  • Out & About
  • Calendar
No Result
View All Result
lgbtq-san-diego-county-news
No Result
View All Result

8 proactive ways couples can face down their debt demons

08/30/2019
in Columns, Featured, Q Syndicate, The Frivolist
0
8 proactive ways couples can face down their debt demons

(www.canstockphoto.com)

0
SHARES
26
VIEWS

The Frivolist

By Mikey Rox

Relationships are hard enough as they are but throw money into the mix and it becomes a recipe for certain disaster. It doesn’t have to go down like that though. Your relationship can survive a financial crisis — yes, even a menacing mound of debt — if you can both get on the same page and work together to solve the problem.

Avoid the blame game

Remember, it takes two to tango, and in most cases you didn’t get into debt all alone. Before tempers flare and you both say and do things you regret, take a breather, regroup, and recognize that your current situation isn’t the fault of one person. Even if a recent debt is the sole work of your partner, say, from a gambling addiction, getting angry and blowing your top won’t help. Go through your emotions responsibly and concentrate on nipping the immediate issue in the bud. Counseling may be necessary for this before coming up with a plan of attack to get back in the black.

Pay off your worst first

Once you have a handle on your debt and resolve yourself to proactively eliminate it, go hard. Debt won’t dwindle away if you’re passive about it. Attack the problem head on to keep it contained.

“Pay off your worst first,” says Steve Anzuoni, financial expert at Fairway Financial. “Sit with each other and gather your statements and pay down the higher-interest cards first.”

Financial expert Harrine Freeman suggests a similar approach.

“Set up payment plans with creditors,” she said. “Pay off old accounts first, then focus on paying down current debt. Keep credit card balances at 20% or less of the credit limit.”

Steer clear of financially stressful situations in the future

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and this adage should absolutely apply to your finances. If you’ve gotten yourself in a hole, start digging yourself out and don’t look back. Also be wary of new situations that can affect the hard work you’ve done to get back on track. Your relationship can only handle so much stress, and it’s not fair to either of you to go into situations — even ones that seem like good moves financially — that will put the whole arrangement in jeopardy.

“I coach couples that financial stress can bring out or aggravate problems in a marriage that would not have otherwise arisen,” said Elliott Katz, author of “Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man.”

“They should avoid getting into financially stressful situations even if it will be profitable in the long term but will cause stress to them in the short term.”

Reduce your spending — stat!

It may seem like an obvious tip to cut back your spending considerably when you’re in debt, but you’d be surprised at how many people keep swiping those cards even when there’s a problem. Freeman suggests reducing the overall household spending by 30% to increase your monthly cash flow to pay off debt. It’ll be a sacrifice for a while, but desperate times call for desperate measures if you want that debt burden off your back.

Accept that you’re not the Joneses, and that’s OK

A lot of the time, couples go into debt trying to keep up with friends, family and neighbors — perhaps even more so for queer couples. You may be able to keep up for a while, but if you’re spending money on things you can’t afford just to “look” like you can, it’ll come back to bite you eventually. Try to be happy with what you have or else work harder to improve your financial situation (picking up side gigs, furthering your education, asking for a promotion at work, getting a better-paying job, etc.) so that you can actually afford the things you want to buy as status symbols. Or, ya know, finally convince yourself that money doesn’t buy happiness.

Set up payment alerts to stay on track

If you have trouble remembering to pay bills, use technology to help you. Set reminders when bills are due and to be notified when account balances are low. Also set up overdraft protection if you’re prone to overdrawing your account so you can at least cut back the fees you’re charged.

Make it clear who handles what financial responsibilities and when

Nobody “wants” to accept the responsibility of handling the relationship’s finances, especially with all that can go wrong. But somebody has to do it. Make it clear which one of you that will be and create a budget and bill-paying schedule together so you can hold one another accountable and stay on track.

“Discuss who will manage the finances, who pays what bill, what finances will be joint, where finances will be managed, when finances will be managed, how finances will be managed currently and in the future, and how expenses and bills will be paid,” Freeman advises.

Enlist the help of a financial planner if you’re in too deep

If you’re already in debt, the last thing you need is another expense. However, if the expense is to help you get out of the red, you get a pass. Sometimes you need help, especially if you have zero idea what you’re doing with your money or how to manage it. Just make sure you’re hiring a reputable financial planner. You don’t need some hack all up in your bills charging you an arm and a leg for advice and planning that has no merit.

 

—Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox.

 

Graphic by www.CanStockPhoto.com.

 

Next Post
Stop annoying phone calls

Stop annoying phone calls

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read our digital edition

Volume 4, Issue 9, February 2023

SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER

AIDS Memorial Groundbreaking to be Held February 1 AIDS Memorial Groundbreaking to be Held February 10th!. For over 35 years, there has been a campaign for San Diego to join cities across North America to establish an AIDS Memorial honoring and remembering the over 8,500 men, women, and children who have died of AIDS. Read full story on the link below.

http://ow.ly/16rR50ML1EG
The Devil is alive in the United States, and it li The Devil is alive in the United States, and it lives in right wing, Republican driven state legislators. According to an article written by Matt Loffman for PBS, the Human Rights Campaign has identified 30 state legislators who proposed more than 115 bills targeting Transgender, Gender Non-Conforming, and Non-Binary rights in their states. Everything from participation in sports to accessing medical care has been attacked. According to a poll conducted by PBS NewsHour/NPR/Marist fewer than 3 in 10 people support any anti-Trans legislation, yet the Republic legislators continue to introduce and vote for all of them. It is hard to understand why these Republicans are voted into office over and over when they obviously do not reflect the wishes of their constituents. click link to read more

http://ow.ly/smtK50MIEEA
What started as a personal social media project vi What started as a personal social media project via Instagram during the pandemic, Hillcrest San Diego has become a 10K subscriber resource for news, history, memes, and all things Hillcrest. We caught up with Rick Cervantes the force behind the account to get to know more about the motivation behind it, the plans for the Instagram account and the upcoming inaugural #hillcrestsandiego Honors with its reception schedule for Monday February 6 at Uptown tavern to honor local community members and organizations.
Read the full Interview on the link below
http://ow.ly/OJ9k50MIEBZ
Our community has been built on the need for resou Our community has been built on the need for resources and support, and sectors in our community have also been called to create organizations that enrich and serve their own specific needs. One such organization is the San Diego LGBTQ Coalition.  Read full article on the link below
https://lgbtqsd.news/san-diego-black-lgbtq-coalition-a-stronger-front-for-the-betterment-of-the-community/
Read all our February Issue Articles on our websit Read all our February Issue Articles on our website!
https://lgbtqsd.news

our on our Digital edition courtesy of issuu!
https://issuu.com/sdcnn0/docs/lgbtq_news_february_2023
They are fresh off the press! They are fresh off the press!
The February Issue is OUT Today! Pick up a copy a The February Issue is OUT Today! 
Pick up a copy around town!
We are Welcoming February with a NEW Issue! We are Welcoming February with a NEW Issue!
Black History Includes Black LGBTQ History! Black History Includes Black LGBTQ History!
Load More... Follow on Instagram
lgbtq_san_diego_county_news

© 2019 LGBTQ San Diego County News. All rights reserved.

Navigate our site

  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact

Follow Us

No Result
View All Result
  • A&E
    • Art
    • Books
    • Film
    • Music
    • Q Syndicate
  • News & Features
    • News
    • Features
    • Politics
      • Elected Official Reports
      • Susan Davis
  • Food & Drink
    • Hot Dish
    • Restaurant Reviews
  • Opinion
    • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Fitness
    • The Frivolist
  • Business
  • Columns
    • Conversations with Nicole
    • Big Mike and Friends
    • Black Lives
    • C…Community
    • Frankly Speaking
    • Houston We Have a Problem
    • Life Beyond Therapy
    • My Good Tootie
  • Out & About
  • Contact
  • Archive
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Calendar

© 2019 LGBTQ San Diego County News. All rights reserved.

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Fill the forms bellow to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In